The Roller Coaster Ride of My Life

Being Seperate in a "Normal" World

2010-01-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of Alaena and her "Shaw-aw-awn" (Southern little girl for Shawn.) She loves Shawn. Funnily enough, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to how country she sounded when she said his name. Likely because I'm a southern girl, with southern parents, southern grandparents. In other words, what I heard was normal.
However, Shawn said, "She sure is country when she says my name." Now don't misunderstand, Shawn has a southern drawl to compete with the best of them, but he has family who isn't from here who pick on him incessantly for his accent. So he hears it more in himself and others.
Anyway, I started thinking about all the things we just let pass through our lives as "the norm" anymore. The pastoral candidate at our church right now has been studying Psalm 1 on Wednesday nights, and he has talked about the righteous person, and the ungodly person and the differences between them.
A truly righteous person is a rare gem these days. This person is someone who steers clear of the ways of the ungodly person. Check out the first verse of Psalm 1:

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful."

A truly righteous person doesn't listen to the counsel of the ungodly. (For example, they look to God's Word for direction, not Oprah.) As I sat thinking about what I look at as normal, I realized that I myself sometimes look to this world's counsel. I think, Hmmm, if that works for them, then maybe I should try it... And it isn't on necessarily bad things, but God told us to look to Him as our authority on EVERYTHING. Why? Because if we start to look to the world as our directive on the small, seemingly meaningless things, eventually we will look to them for the bigger things, the things that matter. Eventually we'll find ourselves saying, "Well is THAT really so wrong?"
A truly righteous person also doesn't stay stuck in sin. They don't just stand there thinking, "Hey, this makes me happy, it's not going to hurt." They realize the wrong they are doing, and they can't stay there. That's not to say this person is sinless, but they can't stand being in that sin for long. The close relationship they have with God won't allow them to stay there. Today, it's normal to "stand in the way of sinners." Open sin is looked over, even in many church settings.
I'm not saying this to judge churches or people. I'm saying this out of love. I've been there myself, and I realized that just because I tried to justify something, God had never moved his stance on the situation. I pray that I'll strive to be a truly righteous person, and when I do fall into sin, I pray I won't stay there.
Basically, I'm going to strive to make sure that I don't accept those things God sees as wrong as something normal. Because I want to live a life that He sees as useful. I want to live a life that He is pleased with. I want to live a life that is seperate from this world.

A Revival of the Blog

2010-01-07T06:37:00.000-08:00

Well, Blogging Buddies, I know that it has been forever since my last post. Life has been so hectic and crazy that I felt I could never catch my breath, much less make logical statements from the million thoughts floating through my brain. My boyfriend Shawn said he has never met people who go so much, what he doesn't realize is that though I am used to going a lot, the past several months has been insane, even for me.

Because of the hectic state of things, I decided to take the week after Christmas off of work, and let me tell you, it was just what I needed. A week to spend time with Alaena and Shawn and the rest of my family and just relax. It was wonderful, and it helped me clear my head a bit.

So, here a few days into this new year, I've decided to begin the blog anew. I'm not going to promise anything daily, or hold myself to any kind of schedule, but if I have a word or two I feel I should share, I'm gonna post it.

Today I'm gonna talk about holding onto things too tightly. Pictured above is Alaena, holding her "puuuuupppyyyyy" (that's Southern little girl for puppy). She loves the puppy. She constantly wants to hold the puppy, and the puppy has pretty much resigned herself to that, as you can see in the picture above. But there are times when Alaena wants to hold on just a bit too tightly, and the poor puppy finally decides she has had enough and tries to escape.
I find myself trying to pry the poor puppy from Alaena's hands, offering her anything else to distract her attention from the puppy, punishing her when she screams about losing the puppy.
But as frustrating as prying that puppy away from her at times can be, I realize that sometimes I act just like her. God will try to pry something from my grasp, and I try just as hard to hold onto it for dear life, kicking and screaming when He takes it away when all the time He is offering something better.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
God's plan is never to harm us. He never does anything to bring us evil. He has a plan for our lives, and He never takes anything out of our lives that He doesn't replace with something much better.
I pray that I will hold things a little more loosely and realize that God knows best when He rearranges my life!

It's Been Forever I KNow

2009-07-06T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Blogging Friends! I know it's been forever since I posted. Things have been totally hectic and finding the time to think has been hard, much less finding the time to put those thoughts into some sort of coherent piece that you could read.
Anyway, I promise to be back to normal blogging soon, but I wanted to ask all of you to pray for my family. My Grandpa Cockman passed away on the 4th. He and my grandma would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary in December. He was ready, and he was at peace with it, but we are going to miss him. Thank you so much for your prayers!

I Am A Promise

2009-05-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

I am a promise
I am a possibility
I am a promise
With a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learning to hear God's voice
And I am trying to make the right choice
I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be

Last night I went to Raegan and Trace's end of year program at school. Very, very cute. Lots of laughs had by all. But it also held a great message. The song above was the theme of the whole program. It's just a catchy little tune but look how true it is.
Each and everyone of us is a promise. If we surrender all to God, the possibilities are limitless. Jeremiah 29:11 says this, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
We have an expected end. God knows just how each of our stories will end. And He wants peace and not evil in our lives. We just have to trust in that promise. We have to trust that He is in control.

Anything Is Possible

2009-05-18T05:09:00.000-07:00

Matthew 17:19-21:
19Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
20And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
21Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

Well blogging buddies, I know I have been pretty much silent lately. Life has been going by at a hectic pace that I can barely keep up with. I've started dating a really great guy named Shawn. I'm definitely not going to rush anything because I want everything to be in God's timing, but he is definitely a blessing in my life right now, and Alaena adores him, so that's definitely another plus.
Also, being that Alaena is my child who is JUST LIKE ME, she has been fighting allergy season hard. We've gone through sinus infections, bronchitis, strep, thrush triggered by the medicines that fight the aforementioned illnesses. Plus she's starting to hit the "Mommy is the only person who can make me happy stage." So the screaming it has commenced at my house, but I have to admit, it's nice to be the person who makes her happy, although it also makes it a bit difficult at times.
So there's a lot going on where I'm asking God for direction and help. I want to do what He wants me to do. I want to show Alaena the right way.
You're probably wondering what the verses above have to do with all of this, but I guess my biggest problem these days is belief. I mean I believe the big stuff. I know Jesus died for me. I know He rose again. I know He saved me.
But at times I have problems believing that He could still have this really awesome plan for my life. I mean, I know I'm forgiven for the past. It's the past. But now things are starting to happen, things are starting to look like they have potential and to be completely honest I'm scared to death because of all the "WHAT IFS?" And these verses have kept popping up in sermons lately.
I was even saying them to Shawn THIS MORNING (because he's starting a business and really believes its the way God is leading him so pray for him, but more on that later). The thing is, I've heard them. I've even passed them onto the next person, but I'm not applying them to my life. I'm just sitting there saying, "What if this goes wrong like the last time?" But Jesus said I can MOVE MOUNTAINS. I just have to have the faith to do it. I just have to trust in EVERYTHING He said and know that NO MATTER WHAT, He'll be there to catch me even if I fall.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want to take those steps of faith. I want to put the work that's required into it. So pray for me. Pray that I take the steps God wants me to, and that I won't sit here wondering "What if?"

Satan Can't Get Me

2009-04-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

John 10:28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
30I and my Father are one.

Do you ever have those days where you don't "feel" saved? You woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and everything seems to be going wrong. Your socks don't match, your hair is a frizzy mess, you spill Dr. Pepper all down the front of your shirt, and you barely make it to work because some crazy person on a cell phone cut you off. And on days like that, the last thing you want to do is the "Christian" thing.
To be honest, you want to cuss and cry and whine. And you want to make somebody else's day just as bad as the day your having. Because after all, misery loves company!
But being saved isn't about how you feel, thank the Lord. It isn't about our doing every little thing right. It isn't about being perfect (although that's what we all should strive toward.)
Being saved is about being held in our Father's hand. And no matter what we do, no matter how far we fall, God's hand is a place that no one can touch us. Once we are held in God's grasp, no one can remove us from that grasp. We are held there in love.
I don't know about you, but that's an amazing thought to me. I look back over my life and see all the many times that I've failed Him. But in the midst of those failures, He has held me. He has picked me up and dusted me off and said, "I forgive you. Now go and sin no more."
I'm amazed at my Father's love. I feel cherished knowing that I'm in His hands. How about you?

Unlikely Heroes Are God's Likely Candidates

2009-04-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I got to go into my Uncle Joel's Sunday School class. Normally I'm teaching, but I didn't have any students yesterday, so I got a break. And although I believe that those I normally teach should have been in Sunday School, I think that God had a hand in my being in my uncle's class yesterday. Because I got my toes stomped a bit. Or a lot actually.
He talked about Gideon in Judges chapter 6. Now we all know Gideon, he was the guy who God used to defeat the Midianites with an army of 300 men who were armed only with broken pitchers, trumpets and lamps. But before Gideon became the man God used, he was the man who begged God to prove Himself.
See, Gideon was pretty much a chicken. When we are first see Gideon, he is threshing wheat in a winepress, trying to hide it from the Midianites who had the Israelites held captive. The Midianites were most likely trying to starve the Israelites out. They didn't want those Israelites getting strong enough to defeat them. So Gideon had evidently grew a small amount of wheat and hidden it from the Midianites and he was threshing it where no one would find him. Basically he was just trying to lay low. Just trying to get by.
But God had a different plan for Gideon. He wanted to use him to defeat the Midianites. And no one was more surprised about God's plan than Gideon himself. He was like, "Me? You can't mean me? I'm the least of the least. I come from a poor family. And I'm the least important one in that family."
But God continued to tell Gideon that He planned to use Him. But Gideon still resisted. He kept asking God for signs. He put out his fleece and had God prove himself, not once but twice, and that was after he talked to the angel of the Lord FACE TO FACE.
It's easy to sit here and think, how could Gideon have been so doubtful. It's easy to get a holier than thou complex and say, "Well, if I had been Gideon, I would have rushed right out and done what God commanded, no questions asked."
But how many of us really would have. How many of us have things that we know God wants us to do, but we sit in our comfort zones saying, "Are you sure God? I mean, I'll go if that's what you really want, but do you mind giving me a sign or a million? Because I want to make sure this is YOU talking God." And while we're sitting there begging for a sign, the work God has for us is not being done.
I've definitely been challenged to trust God more and question less. I pray that each of you will be challenged today as well!

Are They Trials or Testimonies?

2009-03-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I have mentioned my brother's best friend Bobby on here before. He and my brother have been buddies all of their lives. They got into trouble together as youngsters, made some dumb decisions together as teens, and they were both called to preach as young adults. Currently they are in the same Bible College.
This past weekend Ben and Bobby came home to discuss the possibility of having a youth revival at my church with young preachers from the college. This has been okayed, and I'm very excited about it. Prayers for the revival starting now would be very much appreciated.
Anyway, back to Bobby, he preached yesterday morning at my church, and let me tell you what, for a 21 year old "kid" he STOMPED ALL OVER MY TOES. It was an AWESOME message.
And you know what, he gave me some perspective on some things. If any of you have been reading my last several posts, you know that things have been a bit crazy around here lately and that the whole situation with Alaena's dad has been a bit up in the air.
And I'm not going to lie. I've really been stressing it. Because I just don't understand it all, and I want an answer. A clear answer as to how to handle the situation, and right now I don't have that. And I've seen this time of not knowing as a trial that I would just rather get past.
But Bobby's message pointed out yesterday. Trials are times that make us grow. Trials are times that give us the testimonies that we use to give hope to others who walk down the same paths we are on after us.
And I can't say that I understand what's going on around me any better than I did before. But I can say that I'm trusting in the Lord to use it to make me stronger. I'm relying on Him to make this trial a testimony. Because no matter what, I can look back over every part of this situation, and I know that the Lord has been by my side. And He will always be there.
I don't know what you're going through today, but trust me, the Lord is there, and He is using this trial to make you stronger. He is giving you a testimony to help other brothers and sisters along their way! Just trust Him.

An Update

2009-03-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

To all, well, I know it's been a week since my last post. A lot has been going on since then. Some really good stuff, some really bad stuff. Just a lot. Anyway, I don't have much time this morning, but I kind of wanted to give you a little update.
Mark's trial was continued until May so it's another period of waiting and wondering what is best on that front. I talked to him, and he seemed to be on cloud 9 about it for a few hours saying that God was on his side.
I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next day he called me, and his words were almost indistinguishable, and I could tell he'd taken something. And he was ranting about how the world was against him.
When he gets like that I dont' really know what to say. Because in my mind it's very obvious that God has given the boy more chances and has kept him out of harm so many times, but it's like Satan has him so bound in deception that he can't see the truth.
And last Thursday he got to his lowest point. He went out onto his parents property and slashed himself up, intending to bleed to death. His mom found him in a puddle of blood and called 911. Fortunately they got there in the nick of time, and he's now in the hospitals mental care facility.
His only words to his mom have been that he wanted to end up in the funeral home, not the hospital. I ask that all of you would keep both him and his family and Alaena and myself in your prayers.
As I've said many times before, I don't understand this deep level of Satan's deceptive power. But I do know the only one who can free Mark from this. And he needs that freedom more now than ever.

2009-03-17T05:10:00.000-07:00

Psalm 23
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

I'm sure that we've all read this Psalm about a million times, but to me it never gets old. Verses 1-3 are the Scripture of the day today over on Bible Gateway. And I must say that I really needed to hear them again today.
Why you ask? Well because I'm in a kind of battle of the spirit today. I'm not sure of how to feel about something. Alaena's dad goes to court today facing some pretty big charges, and I really don't know what I want to happen.
On one hand, his being put away would mean a time of potential peace. No phone calls in the middle of the night from anyone in a drug induced stupor. No angry threats. No wondering if he'll show up and try to take Alaena.
Then on the other hand I think that the father of my child will be in prison. Possibly until she's 3 or 4. He saw her for the first time ever this past Sunday night. It was a very hard decision on my part because he has not lived up to his part of the deal about getting straight, but my final decision rested on the "what if something happened to either of them" during this prison sentence. So he came to church and met her.
And I think he saw what he's missing. And possibly he regrets the decisions he has made. Problem is, I can do nothing to unmake his bad choices. And I can't make the decision of what will happen to him for those choices.
So I must sit here waiting and wondering what will happen and wondering what I want to happen. So today I needed to remember that the Lord is my Shepherd, and He's in control of it all. And that no matter the outcome of today's trial, He will give peace to my soul. Please keep Mark in your prayers today. No matter what, he needs to trust in Christ.

Something Great to Do

2009-03-06T08:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I know I'm probably like the last person to do this because I have been so out of the blogging loop over the last several months. I wrote my letter. And I wanted all of you to have the opportunity to do so to. It will not only be a blessing to you but to others as well, and all of the proceeds out of this project will benefit Compassion International.
So go check it out!!

Coming Forth As Gold

2009-03-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

Job 23:10-11
10But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
11My foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined.

These are some verses that I have learned to love. Because they remind me that the trials in my life are for a purpose. They make me stronger. They make me shine all the more with the likeness of Christ.

As I've shared here, my family has been facing some trials. But those trials will not kill us. No, we may not understand the why, but we definitely know who holds us. We know that He will continue to hold us. And we know that because He's held us through every past trial. He's been there with us through every fire.

So we're going to stay in His path. We're going to hold to His footsteps.

How about you? Are you facing something today that you just don't understand? Well, just stay with Christ. He will never leave you or forsake you. He's holding you through every trial you face. And He's making you into something stronger than you ever imagined you would be.

But the Greatest of These Is LOVE

2009-02-16T04:56:00.000-08:00

Well blogging buddies, I know I haven't been a regular poster lately. I've been in the bloggy blahs I guess. My creative juices just have not been flowing, and it seems I can't put two words together and have them make sense. I will try to be better, I promise!!
Being that last Saturday was Valentine's Day, I heard a few messages over the weekend on LOVE. Now I must say that I spent much of this weekend saying that Valentine's day is a commercial made-up holiday. Pretty much, I don't like to focus on the fact that I'm not married, I haven't really got a prospect of being married, and all that. Pretty much Valentine's Day went by without my even caring.
But last night's message didn't get by me. I realized that my attitude probably wasn't that great. Love is not just about marriage. Love is not about my ideas of what my life should be. Love is a DECISION. A decision to treat people God's way. And not just the people that are easy to love.
But also the people who do their best to be unlovable. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love endures all things. Hopes all things. Believes all things. It suffers long.
It's not just a fly by night feeling surrounded with fireworks. It's something lasting. Something eternal. And it doesn't quit. I guess that's why God considers love to be the greatest thing. Because everything else hinges on love.
Love is what held Jesus to that cross. Love is why God sent His only Son. Love is what saved my soul. Love is what holds me.
And God wants me to share that love with others. That is His ultimate plan for me. No matter how all the pieces end up together in my life. So happy belated Valentine's Day, everyone. May you be filled with God's love today!

My Little Rock

2009-02-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

Well, as hard as it is to believe it, I am now the mother to a one year old. Time has flown by much to quickly. It doesn't seem possible that the tiny little one I was just holding in my arms is now a jabbering, toddling one year old. And as I look back over this year, I can see that I named her right!
Alaena is a form of "Alain" which means "Little Rock." Now in the Bible many times rocks were used as a form of rememberance. The children of Israel were to take stones from the bed of the Jordan River when they crossed and pile them up as a reminder of how God delivered them and brought them into the promised land. And I could name other times as well.
Every time I look at Alaena, I am constantly reminded of God's goodness to me in spite of all my failures. She is definitely my little rock to help me remember all that God has given me.
Take a look around you today, I'm sure you can find some "Little Rocks" of your own.

Oh the Words They Say

2009-01-28T04:56:00.000-08:00

Alaena has reached that stage where she's starting to repeat some things. If you say a word several times, she'll repeat it. I have a feeling she's going to be a bit of a jabberbox, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Last night I was pointing out different things in one of her books, and she said "book", "moon" and a very emphatic, "OWL!" All while repeatedly telling Colby, our dog, "NO!! NO!! Bit!" But when we had finished her book, she pointed to my Bible and said, "Bible" as clear as day. And it made my heart more glad than I can tell you.
Because although she may not understand all that's going on yet, she knows what a Bible is. And that is a start. A start to a long journey we have ahead of us.
I can't believe we are almost to her first birthday. It doesn't seem possible that time has gone by so quickly, but I ask that you continue to keep both of us in your prayers that I may continue to teach my little girl in the way that is right!

The Slow Fade

2009-01-19T05:06:00.000-08:00

For a very good while now the ladies at my church have been doing Beth Moore's Daniel study. We only have a once monthly session, so it takes a little longer to get through the book. Because of the holidays and everything, I had gotten a little bit behind, so I got the DVD's so that I could catch up.
And you know what, I think God wanted to save these lessons for this time in my life. In my previous post, I requested prayer for my sister saying that Satan was fighting her family. In short form, her husband has basically decided he doesn't want to be married anymore. He doesn't want to seek counselling. He just wants to walk away with no real explanation.
And I don't get it. I don't understand people at times. But I think God wanted me to have the lesson he taught me through this Beth Moore study right now. This lesson has shown me that we as Christians are holy vessels before the Lord. We are HOLY.
And Satan's favorite tactic is for us to treat the holy as unholy. If he can change our view of ourselves, then he can tempt us with things we never thought we would do.
I've been down that road myself. I always swore I'd never have sex before marriage. But Satan worked slowly. First, he tempted me with TV shows that at first I was offended by, but then I started thinking, "Hey, that joke was funny." Then I'm watching everday. Then ever so slowly he throws more and more things my way, and the next thing I knew I was telling my parents I was pregnant. And yes, I could have said no at anytime. God provided me a way to escape. But I didn't take it. I didn't view myself as a holy vessel before the Lord. And because I didn't, my life was used to toast an unholy cause.
Now I'm not saying all of this as a pity party or anything like that. I love my daughter, and I wouldn't trade her for the world. I just know how the devil can slowly lead you away. You don't go from standing firm on a subject to ignoring your values overnight.
I guess I'm saying all of this to ask you guys to pray for my brother-in-law. He's slowly slipped away from the values he once held dear. I know more than anyone that God can forgive anything. He can bring anyone back. No one is beyond His reach. Please just pray that his eyes would be opened. And that their family could be restored.

You're Still God

2009-01-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a while since I posted. Things have gotten a little hectic in my family. I ask that you cover my sister's family in prayer. Satan is fighting their family in a big way. As we all know, strong Christian homes are often his targets.
There have been many emotions going through my mind, as I've stood by my sister in this test. I've questioned why. I've been angry. I've been heartbroken for her and the children.
But one thought has reigned supreme over all. God is still God. He knows where my sister is. He's holding her. He's in control, and He'll help her every step of the way.
I heard this song on the radio this morning. It's just one of many songs God has brought into my hearing over the last week or so that has reminded me of who He is.

You're still God, though my eyes have cried a million tears,
You're still God, when my last hope has disappeared
You're still God, and I know you'll make a way somehow
You're still God, and You're holding me right now.

Isn't it the hugest comfort to know that no matter where we are, God is still God? He's still taking care of us. He's still making a way.
When I opened up a calender I bought last summer, the picture says, "Even there...Your hand will guide me." It references Psalm 139:10. The King James version of the verse says this, "Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.:
His hand is holding us. I don't know about you, but I feel protected in His hand. No matter what storms may arise.
As I said before, please keep my sister and her family in your prayers, and while you're praying ask that we always remember Who is holding us!

Keep It In Your Heart

2008-12-19T05:42:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:19, "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."

Well, today we reach the end of the study on Luke 2. I have definitely learned much as I've studied this passage more in depth this Christmas season, and I pray that some part of it has touched you as well!
I can't imagine how Mary must have felt seeing all the wonderous things that happened at Jesus' birth. Total strangers were coming and bowing before the manger where her son lay. She was probably too shocked for words. So she just kept wondering over them in her heart.
As you go through the next week or so, I hope that you ponder over and over in your heart just what this Christmas season is about. Just WHO Jesus is. And all that He has done.
This will probably be my last "REAL" post until after Christmas, so I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and I pray you keep Christ in the center because without Him, we'd have no reason to celebrate at all!

Tell Somebody

2008-12-17T05:21:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:17, "And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child."

The shepherds first reaction to seeing the Christ child was to tell somebody about this awesome experience they'd had. They couldn't hold in their excitement. They wanted everyone to know about what they'd seen and heard.
And shouldn't that be our reaction as well? We should tell everyone about our Saviour. We should tell what He has done in our lives. We should tell how awesome He is.
So that's my challenge to you today. Throughout this Christmas season, remember the reason for the season. Remember how He came. Remember how He died to save you. And tell someone about it!

Make Haste

2008-12-16T05:21:00.000-08:00

15And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
16And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

I don't know about you, but there have been times I have been known to be a procrastinator. And I really don't know why. Because it's a trait that really drives me INSANE. If someone says they'll do something, I want them to do it, like right then! But sometimes what I expect of others is more than I will give myself. I need to work on that.
Today's lesson shows the shepherds making a quick decision to go see this new Saviour that the angel told them about. They didn't say, "Well, let's give it a few days. I'm sure the excitement will wear off." No, they went RIGHT THEN.
And when God calls us to do something, He wants us to do something about it RIGHT THEN. He doesn't want us to wait ten years and see if the Spirit hits us again. He has a purpose for our lives, and He wants us to be excited about it. He wants us to quickly go with His plan. Because His plan holds so much blessing for us.
I don't know about you, but I want to be better about going with God's plan. I want to follow Him at the first nudge. I'm sure I will be much happier if I do.

Praise to God on High!

2008-12-15T05:03:00.000-08:00

13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

I have often thought it would have been awesome to be one of those shepherds on the hillside. I mean can you imagine what an exciting night they had. Not only did they see one angel, they saw a multitude of angels!
But then I got to thinking about how those angels must have felt. Could you imagine being "THE ONE" God chose to share the news of the newborn Saviour? I mean, that angel was the very first to share the Gospel of Christ. What an important job.
But I'm sure that the rest of the angels wanted to play a part in the announcement too. So once the angel had shared his message, the rest of them joined him, and they began a praise time like you can't imagine.
It really made me think. How excited am I about sharing Christ's message? Am I ready enough to share his praise to all the world? I should be. Because He has done so much for me. Even more than He had done for the angels who sang that night.
So today I'm gonna sing His praise. Today I'm gonna share what He has done for me, and what He can do for others. Because He is more than worthy of all the praise, honor, and glory!

A Reason for the Manger

2008-12-12T05:29:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:12, "And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

The angel ended his message to the shepherds by telling them just where to find Jesus. Now think about this, the angel had just told them that the Saviour of the world had been born. Then he told them that the Saviour would be the one lying in the manger.
I really started thinking about this verse this week. Perhaps God put Jesus in a manger because He knew that would make Jesus approachable. I mean imagine if He had been born in a palace. Do you think the shepherds would have dared to go there? Probably not.
They would have been amazed at the angel's message, but they probably wouldn't have gone to their Saviour. But a manger in a barn? That was a place they were comfortable with. That was a place they could approach their Saviour.
That is just one more thing to prove that Christ will come to you right where you are. He lowered Himself from all of heaven's glory to become the Saviour of the world. We don't have to become rich or powerful to accept His saving gift. We don't have to be beautiful or dressed a certain way. We don't have to be perfect.
And that is something to be thankful for this Christmas season. Though I'm sure Mary never quite understood the manger, I'm sure that the shepherds were very thankful for it. Because it allowed them to approach their Saviour without fear.
And we can still approach Him without fear today!

Good News For All

2008-12-09T04:58:00.000-08:00

Luke 2:10-11:
10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

Yesterday we stopped of at a point where the shepherds were cowering in fear. Today, the fear is expelled and in its place is left a message of hope and joy that would change the world.
These lowly shepherds were the first to hear the good news, the Gospel. God could have sent the angels to anyone. He could have sent them to Caesar Agustus himself if he had wanted to, but He sent them to the shepherds. The guys sleeping out on the hillside with a bunch of sheep.
And to me that just drives home the fact that this Saviour was born to save EVERYONE. He wasn't just sent to save those with money. He wasn't just sent to save the powerful. He wasn't just sent to save the deserving. He was sent to save all. All who would believe on Him. All who would trust in His saving power.
What an awesome thought that I never had to do anything to deserve this gift. Throughout this Christmas season, I pray I will constantly have in mind the Saviour of the world who was born in Bethlehem that night.
And I hope you will too!

What A Wake Up Call

2008-12-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

Well, today we look back to Luke 2 again. I didn't know how much I would enjoy this study, but it really has opened my eyes to a lot. I actually used part of it yesterday when I taught Sunday school, and I think I'm going to through this month. Right now I only have one girl in my class (small church with few kids her age unfortunately, but we're praying about that.)
Anyway, it actually helped that it was just her yesterday because it really helped to drive the lesson home. She was almost in tears thinking about what Mary went through and the fact that Jesus was born in such a way. Pray that her heart stays tender like that.
And now, on to the lesson for today. We have reached Luke 2:8-9.

8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

Now I don't know about you, but I have some days on the job that are pretty hum-drum. Days where I sit and look at the computer screen and it blurs into more and more of the same. Days where I can barely hold my eyes open. I'm sure this is just a me thing. All of you stay peppy and awake at work I'm sure.
But me, I have days of boredom and fighting sleep. And I kinda wonder if the shepherds had nights like that. I mean, it probably got to a point where one sheep just looked like the next. By 2 in the morning those sheep probably became a blur of wool. It would have been that way for me, just let me tell ya!
But imagine what you would have felt had you been them. I mean, you're sitting there doing the same thing you do every day. You bring the sheep to a good sleeping place, you light a fire, you start telling the same old stories to your shepherd buddies. Then all of the sudden, this blinding light shines from the sky. And you just know that something awesome is before you, and your knees began to shake.
Now, I'm not going to go into the awesome message the angel had for the shepherds today. I'm just gonna focus on this reaction today. They were probably all cowering in fear, huddled together. This was something they'd never expected.
I'm pretty sure that an angel won't appear in my cube today, but if it happened, I would probably be the same way. Because I'm not looking for that something awesome. I'm not expecting the extraordinary.
But God is doing awesome, extraordinary things everyday. He may not be sending angels to shepherds on the hillside, but He is getting His message out there. It can be seen in the hurting face of the homeless man on the corner. It can be seen in the hungry eyes of a child in need. It can be seen in the tears of someone sitting in the hospital room of a dying loved one.
We have a world that needs saving, and the awesome prospect can either cause us to cower in fear, or it can drive us to a cause. Personally, this Christmas season, I want to be driven to do whatever Christ asks. I don't want to ignore the awesome things that God has in store for me. I don't want to miss His message because I was too afraid to hear it. What about you?

No Room

2008-12-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

As I said yesterday, I'm gonna take these few weeks leading us toward Christmas to talk about the Christmas story in depth. Yesterday I talked about the journey to Bethlehem. Today I'm gonna talk about Luke 2:6-7,

6And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
7And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

So Mary has gone through this uncomfortable journey to Bethlehem, probably hoping all along that they would make it to Bethlehem before she had her baby. Then they make it to Bethlehem, and there was no place to stay. So one innkeeper allowed them to stay in his stable.
A STABLE. Now I don't know about you, but had I been Mary, I would have been a tad bit upset. I mean, she probably longed for a nice, comfortable place to rest, but instead she was offered a pile of straw.
Then the pains started, and I'm sure she thought, "This can't be right! The Savior of the World can't be born here with the cows and the donkeys." But no matter what Mary thought about the situation she found herself in, she knew Jesus was about to be born, and He would be born in the midst of the animals and the dirt and manure.
And so there, in a barn Mary delivered a Son. God's Son. And she wrapped Him up in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger bed.
I mean think about it, they had been turned away by every innkeeper. No one had room for the Savior. Jesus was rejected even before He was born. But that was no surprise to God. Check out Isaiah 53:3,

"3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

It is no surprise that Jesus came to this world in a lowly stable. Long before He was born, the prophets had declared He would be rejected. They were saying how He would come as a lowly servant, but most were looking for a mighty king.
I'm sure Mary did a lot of praying as she watched her baby sleeping peacefully to the lullaby of the mooing of cows and brays of donkeys. I can imagine her saying, "Lord, I'm your servant. I don't understand all of this, but I'm your servant, no matter where you send us."
At this Christmas season, I want to have that kind of heart. I want to be open and willing to do what God wants me to do, despite the discomfort of the situation. I want to be willing to go even when I don't understand why God has me in a certain place. How about you?

Great With Child

2008-12-03T04:58:00.000-08:00

I've decided to approach the Christmas season this year by doing a study on the passage about Jesus' birth in Luke 2. I mean we have all heard it thousands of times, but it's more than just a fairy tale. It's more than words we quoted in Christmas plays through the years. It's the TRUE account of a Savior come to earth.

Today I'm gonna focus on verses 1-5:
1And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.
2(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
3And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
4And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
5To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

I guess this passage hits home more with me now than it did before. Because I've been in that spot where Mary was. And let me tell you, I would not have been wanting to make a long journey on the back of a donkey when I was thinking I'd go into labor any minute. Especially if I had to make that journey to pay taxes.
I guess I can identify with Mary in other ways too. Of course, we all know that Mary was a virgin, and the child she carried was the Christ, the Son of God, conceived by the Holy Spirit. But I'm sure most around her didn't believe that. And most around her probably thought Joseph was crazy for not putting her away.
It's not easy being "the girl who got pregnant" in this modern day. It's not easy feeling like you're on display for the whole world, thinking everybody is looking at you thinking, "Can you believe what she did?"
And in those days, Mary faced the fear of death because of her pregnancy. I mean, Joseph could have legally had her killed for the sin of adultery. She was after all his promised wife. But he believed God's Word. He had faith that the child she carried was the promised Messiah.
But I'm sure that she still faced the scorn of those around her. She still had to endure the stares of many who didn't believe that Jesus was God's Son. And in the midst of this emotional turmoil, she had to leave her home and travel with her espoused husband to a city far away, right at the time she was expecting Jesus to be born.
But none of this was a surprise to God. He had promised hundreds of years before that the Christ would come out of Bethlehem. Check out this verse from Micah 5:2, " 2But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting."
So although I'm sure Mary wondered why they had to make this uncomfortable journey, God was just proving that the child she carried was the Christ. The One He had promised would come out of Bethlehem.
It comforts me to know that God will keep His promises, even in the midst of our pain and discomfort. And He will make His plan known to the world. Even when we don't understand exactly what is going on!

Thank You JESUS!!

2008-11-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

I taught children's church this past Sunday. It was a pretty easy Sunday to have it considering Thanksgiving was coming up. I taught on Psalm 138:1, "I will praise thee with my whole heart!"
And let me tell you, little kids can do some praise. I played a game with them where I would name something, and if they were thankful for it, they would say, "Thank You Jesus!" They were very exuberant when they shouted out, "THANK YOU JESUS!"
Then I asked them individually what they were thankful for when we made crafts. Of course they all said moms, dads, brothers, sisters. But they were also thankful for houses, wagons, grass, leaves, flowers, dogs, cats, baths, and the list goes on.
Basically, they were thankful for EVERYTHING. And they were excited in their thanks. And I started to feel a bit guilty. I mean, when is the last time I thanked God for a warm bath? Or for the beautiful flowers I see everyday?
So today, I'm thanking God with my whole heart. Even for the littlest things! Because those are the things that really make you the happiest! Things like pictures of my daughter to look at while I'm at work. And things like tea from Bojangles to wake me up! And Sugar Free Snack Packs so that I can have a low calorie treat!
What little things are you thanking God for today?

He Made It There For Sunday Worship!

2008-11-17T05:30:00.000-08:00

Brother Halton Watkins passed from this life late Saturday night. Most of us didn't hear about it until we were at church on Sunday morning, but when I heard, I thought, "How appropriate!"
See, Halton loved nothing better than being in the Lord's House on Sunday morning. He loved to worship "His Jesus," and yesterday, Halton got to worship Jesus in person. Yesterday he got to bow before those precious feet.
There were quite a few tears shed yesterday at church, but all of us are rejoicing with Halton over his homegoing. We sang "First Day in Heaven," and I couldn't hold my tears back as I sang. Because as I sang, I could picture Halton enjoying that first day in heaven (and you know what, it's going to be an eternal day!!)

I'll leave you today with the chorus of that song!

Oh what a day, our first day in Heaven
When we've finished the story untold
I'm gonna sit down with my blessed Savior
And what a day our first day will be

Check Out the Give-away!

2008-11-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

I'm doing a bloggy giveaway on my other blog! Go check it out!
Also, I pray that you're having a very happy Friday! Rejoice in this day the Lord has made!

Sometimes Help Comes In Ways We Didn't Expect

2008-11-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm not sure about where you live, but here in the piedmont area of NC we have hit hay fever season in FULL FORCE. The coughs, scratchy throats, and stuffy noses are hitting almost everyone.
Yesterday the tickly cough hit me. You know the cough that you can never get to stop no matter how many cough drops you suck on or how much water you drink? Yeah, that one.
But fortunately the lady in the cube near mine happened to get a Prevention magazine yesterday, and one of the articles was talking about things you could do to avoid taking medicines. And you know what works for a cough? Dark chocolate, yes, you heard me right dark chocolate helps coughs. I admit I was skeptical, but after eating about 8 or 9 dark chocolate m&m's, I didn't cough for a few hours.
So I will have to be sure to keep chocolate on hand (this may not help my weight much, but at least I won't be coughing like crazy! LOL!)
But it really made me think that there are times we get help in ways we didn't expect, or in ways that are much better than solutions we may have offered. It brought to mind a little old man at my church named Halton, who is constantly in my thoughts and prayers right now.
See, this little man is dying. They brought him home the other day and called in hospice, and I find myself wanting to pray selfishly that he stay here with us, because he has brought so much joy to our church.
I mean he is one of "THE ROCKS" of our church. Until sickness prevented him, he was there at every service, and this man is well into his eighties. He would sit on the front pew, leaned forward with hands clasped, hungry for the word he would hear from the Lord. I can just see him sitting there while we were singing, clapping his hands and lifting his arms in praise to Jesus, and the thought of never seeing that again brings tears to my eyes.
But he is ready to see "His Jesus". He's ready to see the Savior he has always been so excited to learn about. And my prayer is that he wouldn't have long to wait. Help may come in a way for Halton that brings sorrow to many around him, but oh how sweet to know that I'll see him again one day. I imagine he'll pat me on the back and shake my hand when I enter the gates and say, "Come meet Jesus with me. I'm so glad we're all finally here!" And I can see him sitting at Jesus' feet, hands clasped, leaned forward, listening to the half of the story that's never been told.
So now I'm praying that God would not make Halton suffer for long. Because the broken, tired body is not the Halton that we all know and love. Please pray for the Watkins family and our church as we all face this soon approaching loss.

Dora's on the Outside

2008-11-06T05:42:00.000-08:00

Last night my niece and nephew spent the night with us because both of their parents are out of town with work today. So I got a preview of what my life will be like in a few years when Alaena goes to school. Pretty much I'll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Nah, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it, but being that this was my first morning in training I was about 3 minutes late to work.
Anyway, I got up got dressed, and I was all good for time. Then I got Trace up thinking he'd be easier to get dressed because I didn't have to fix hair or anything with him. It went prety well except he didn't have socks, so the poor child is in a pair of Alaena's socks. They are neuter gender white socks, so don't worry that he had to go to school in some ruffly pink socks or anything. The sock fiasco put me a few minutes behind.
Then I got Raegan up and got her dressed, and I was trying to put her shoes on in a hurry because we needed to get their teeth brushed and get out the door, so I wasn't paying much attention, and I almost put Raegan's shoe on the wrong foot. Fortunately my niece knows how to tell the right foot from the wrong foot, and she said, "Um, Heather, Dora's on the outside. Boots is on the inside." So I got a little lesson about putting shoes on the right foot from my four year old niece. I felt really smart.
Sometimes life is like that. Sometimes we rush ahead and run around like a chicken with our heads cut off, and we don't pay one bit of attention to what we are doing. Then finally God has to get our attention and pretty much say, "Hello, this is how you're supposed to do this, or this is how you're supposed to go?"
And at times like that I feel so dumb. Because all along I know what I'm supposed to be doing, and there is no way that my way could ever be better than God's PERFECT way. I'm just thankful He loves me enough to give me those wake up calls to get me headed back in the right direction.

Let Us Pray

2008-11-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

Well, blogging friends, America now has a new President. Regardless of how we feel about the selection, we should pray for this President Elect Obama. Pray that he will use wisdom in his selection of cabinet. Pray that he will use sound judgement in selection of judges. Pray for him in all the situations he must face.
We are called to pray for those in authority over us. So spend this day in prayer. And while you're at it, spend some time in praise because God is in control, and He holds His children in His hands!

My Vote Is In

2008-11-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I went this morning and voted. And I didn't even have to wait in line or anything. Of course, that could be because I live in podunk where we still have to fill in little circles with a pen on our ballot sheet beside our choices rather than having actual machines to vote on, but oh well! I placed my McCain/Palin vote with a prayer that God's will be done whatever the outcome.
I spent some time at my church yesterday praying about it too. We had our doors open all day yesterday, and they will be open all day today as well. And I think that is just how all Christians should approach it, in prayer, asking God to help us vote according to His plan and His will with HIS VALUES in mind. So pray and GO VOTE today!

So I Got My Toes Stepped On a Bit

2008-10-30T05:14:00.000-07:00

This week we had a mini-revival at my church that ended last night. Each night had great preaching, but last night was exceptional, and let me just tell you, my toes really got some stomping. His message was on the church and it's purpose.
And what is that purpose? Well take a look at Acts 1:8, "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth."
In short, our purpose is to be a witness for Christ wherever we go, to anyone we meet, at any time! And I knew that, but what really stepped on my toes was his point about spiritual gifts. See, spiritual gifts are good, and we are to use them to exhort fellow believers, but spiritual gifts are NOT our spiritual purpose. They are just tools to help encourage each other along the way in our purpose.
See, I like to sing, and I try to become a better singer all the time (not sure that is gonna happen, but I try to practice and all a lot.) I think this is one of my spiritual gifts because I can use it to encourage others. However, a singer is not what I am first and foremost. What I am first and foremost is a Christian, and as such a soul-winner.
I pray that I will use my life to win souls to Christ. Because that is what I should be all about! How about you?

Sometimes You Need Some Repetition...

2008-10-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many of you listen to the Christian radio station KLove, but right now their pledge drive is going on. And yesterday the local guys took over our station to do a local push for KLove giving.
Anyway, right before they went off the air they played "Worthy Is the Lamb" by Third Day. Then they turned it back over to the network, and you know what they played, "Worthy Is the Lamb" by Third Day. So I heard the same song two times in a row.
And you know what, I needed to. Because God was really trying to get my attention. He wanted me to know that He is Worthy of my praise. He alone is Holy. He alone reigns.
Right now in our country it's easy to look at everything crazy that's going on and start to whine and complain. But no matter what the situation, Christians are to be people of praise. Because we have a God who is worthy of our praise. So praise Him today through all you do!

Read the Word, or You Will Shrink...

2008-10-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my niece Raegan was doing a little practice preaching on Alaena. She was really getting into it too. She was going, "Baby Laena, the Word says" (and at this point she took the opened Bible in her hand and put it into Alaena's face), "the Word says if you don't read the Bible and pray YOU WILL SHRINK! That's what is says Baby Laena!" (And as she said shrink she brought her hand down low to the ground to represent her point.) Then she said, "The Word says if you read it and pray and you will GROW!" (And she brought her hand back up!)
One of her favorite songs right now is "Read Your Bible, Pray Every Day!" If your not familiar with the song it goes like this:

Read your Bible, pray every day, pray every day, pray every day,
Read your Bible pray every day and you'll grow, grow, grow
and you'll grow, grow, grow,
and you'll grow, grow, grow,
Read your Bible, pray every day, and you'll grow, grow grow

Neglect your Bible, forget to pray, forget to pray, forget to pray
Neglect your Bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink
and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink,
and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink,
Neglect your Bible, forget to pray and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

Apparently, Raegan took the song as "WORD." But whether the Bible says we'll actually "Shrink" or not, it's so true. If we don't read the Word, we will shrink spiritually. Our spiritual muscles will become non-existent. So read your Bible folks (and don't make me come shake the WORD in your face and tell you that otherwise you're gonna shrink!!)

Beach Trip

2008-10-01T04:40:00.000-07:00

Well, blogging buddies, it's been a few weeks since my last post. It's been pretty hectic around here. As you can see from the pictures above, Alaena got to enjoy her first beach trip this past weekend, and she LOVED it. And I loved watching her reactions to the new things around her.

She just jumped up and down and laughed as the waves came rolling over her little feet. And she was all about playing in the sand. I just had to watch her very closely to make sure she didn't eat any.

I haven't been to the beach in a while, but I was just amazed once more to see the vast beauty that God has created. I mean He made this:

And not only did He make it, but He holds it all in His hands. I don't know about you, but God's awesomeness never ceases to amaze me. And I hope it never does. Hope you guys are having a good week so far, and I hope to get around to seeing you at some point this week.

Gotta Get Your Excercise

2008-09-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking when you see that title. Excercise? Yuck! But I'm not talking about physical excercise. I'm talking about spiritual excercise.
See, while physical excercise isn't necessarily a bad thing, in the grand scheme of things it "profiteth little" (I Timothy 4:8). The problem nowadays is that too many people are focused on the physical aspect of things, and no one is focused on the spiritual.
People read books on the right diet, the right way to run, the right way to bike, the right gym to join. But no one reads the only Book that can tell you about the right way to live. The ONLY way to live eternally.
And a lack of spiritual excercise in the areas of prayer, praise, study, and sharing God's Word with others has left us spiritually weak. I don't know about you, but I need to excercise more. I want to be strong spiritually. I want to excercise everyday. That way when hard times and temptations come, I'll be strong enough in Christ to stand.

Learned Praise and True Praise

2008-09-15T05:19:00.001-07:00

Last night my church had the Enlighteners come to sing. The Enlighteners is two blind ladies who have travelled for the last 34 years sharing God's message through song. They were good vocally, but I was more impressed with their spirit of praise. You could tell they meant every word from their hearts, and they truly loved the God they were singing about.
When I was around 8 or 9 years old, I remember how a boy at our church named Matthew would copy everything that his dad would do. He walked like him, talked like him, everything. But the funniest thing would be that when his dad would say "Amen" Matthew would come behind him with an equally hearty "Amen." And if his dad raised his hand, Matthew would raise his hand as well. It was cute, but it wasn't true worship. It was Matthew mimicking his dad's worship.
Well, last night I believe I saw true worship. See both of these ladies would raise their hands in praise during their songs, and I started thinking about it. That is not something that either of these ladies have ever SEEN anyone else do. They just do it. It is just in their hearts to lift their hands to God in praise.
I pray that my worship will ever be true as well. I don't want my praise to simply be something I do because I see others worshipping. I want it to be something that comes from a heart that loves the Lord.

Is Miss Clairol in the House?

2008-09-10T05:10:00.000-07:00

Hi blogging buddies! I am still alive and well. It's just been really hectic both at home and at work. I'm racing to keep up.
Alaena turned 7 months old yesterday. And her two top teeth are working their hardest to make a breakthrough and join her bottom two teeth.
And as teeth are showing up in Alaena's mouth, I have discovered GRAY hairs showing up in my hair. And not just one or two mind you. They are getting a little out of control. And I've seriously considered dying it to cover the gray. Then I think I'm only 26, if I start this now, it could be a huge lifelong expense.
See, God doesn't care if my hair is gray. He made the hair, and He knew it would turn gray. But you know what, He promised to love me and take care of me anyway. If you don't believe me read Isaiah 46:4, "And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you."
See that part that says "even to your hoar hairs I will carry you" ? That means even when I'm old, and there isn't a trace of black left in my hair, He will carry me. He loves me, and He wants to use my life for His purpose.
He wants me to spend my life focused on allowing Him to make my heart a more beautiful place. He doesn't want me to be focused on hunting down and quickly covering each gray hair.
Now, I'm not saying it's evil to dye your hair or try to look pretty on the outside. It just shouldn't be the focus of your life. I don't want to spend my days stressing over the gray hairs that keep seeming to show up all over the place. Because if I did then I would be of no use to anyone else because I'd be completely self-consumed.
So today, I'm going to start looking more into my heart's mirror instead of the bathroom mirror!

Block Bad, Harness Good

2008-09-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt like your mind was the Devil's dartboard? I sure have. On Sunday we had a wonderful lesson in Sunday School about our thought lives. The thought life plays a very powerful role in what we do because what we think in our hearts is what we are.
That is why Satan tries so hard to throw his "thought darts" at us. He wants us to think about anything but what is pure and lovely and true. He wants to destroy our minds with his poison.
God knows that our minds are a battlefield, so he gave us a weapon to block Satan's attacks. He gave us His Word, and He told us to hide His Word in our hearts (Psalm 119:11). Hiding His Word in our hearts keeps us from sin. Because when we have God's Word in our hearts, our hearts are focused on Him, and when Satan tries to throw a mind dart our way, we recognize it for the spiritual attack that it is.
Another thing we can do when Satan attacks us is to sing a song of praise unto the Lord. This realigns our focus to Christ. Many times Satan attacks when we are alone, either in our car or in our bed at night or wherever. So at times like that we can just burst into song, even if we sing that song to ourselves in our hearts.
My Sunday school teacher said that when she is attacked she often sings the words to "Jesus Loves Me" to herself over and over. Now, it may sound simple and childish, but it REALLY works. Paul even talks about doing this in Colossians 3:16.
So fight today, Child of God. Use the weapons God has given you. Harness every good and pure thought, and block the bad ones through Christ's power!

Time Flies By

2008-08-19T05:33:00.001-07:00

Well, last night at my house was pretty exciting. Alaena sat up all by herself. I was jumping up and down and saying, "Look, look, look!!" And she just smiled up at me like she knew she was really something.
I was so excited about this new milestone, but then when she had gone to sleep last night, I began to think how the last 6 1/2 months has flown by so quickly. As James 4:14 says, life truly is like a vapour. It is here one moment then it's gone.
I just pray that in these quickly passing moments I will be the example to my little girl that I should be. I pray that we will celebrate many spiritual milestones in her future. Because those are the most exciting milestones there are.
Hope all of you are doing well today!

Be Glad!

2008-08-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a smile with you guys today! And to share this verse from Psalm118:24, "This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

He Gives The Strength

2008-08-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

Lately it seems like everywhere I turn I see more hurt and pain. I have several friends who desperately long for children, but God hasn't seen fit to give them their desire yet. I have a friend who is dying with inoperable cancer. I have a friend who is facing the end of a marriage. Alaena's grandparents and I are in a constant struggle with Alaena's father.
And yesterday, I was feeling pretty much like "I CAN'T DO THIS!" But last night after I had put Alaena to bed and I had cleaned up a bit, I sat down on my bed, and I opened my Bible to do my Daniel study by Beth Moore. Now Beth, she had some pretty amazing things to say, but it was what God showed me after my study that really hit me.
I was reading through part of Psalm 119, which has been a pretty special chapter to me lately. I got to verse 28, and I just burst into tears. Check out this verse.
"My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word."
See, God wanted me to see that I'm not the only one burdened. I'm not the only one struggling. And He wanted to remind me from where I draw my strength.
My strength is found in His Word. Now, this isn't rocket science. It's something I already knew. But I often forget. And when I get buried under burdens, I try and try to dig out. I try to fix everyone's problems. I try to make the world right. But God reminded me last night that sometimes this imperfect world just ISN'T RIGHT, and sometimes we will carry burdens. Heavy burdens that seem to crush us from within.
And at times He will remove those burdens. But sometimes He just gives us the strength to carry them. Sometimes He uses them to make us stronger in Him. So though I face today with the same burdens, I can go on because I know the One who gives me strength to face them.
And He'll give you strength too if you'll ask Him!

Picture Update

2008-08-05T06:48:00.001-07:00

Not much time to post today, but I wanted to give you guys some updated pictures of Alaena. Hard to believe she'll be 6 months old in just a few days! Hope you are all doing well!

I Won Them Over

2008-07-29T05:37:00.001-07:00

This week is Bible School at my church, and after a year's hiatus, I am back in the rotatation of teaching. Challenge number one after time off? The middle schoolers class.
Now if any of you have ever been around middle schoolers, you know that they are a cool bunch. Too cool to do something stupid in front of their friends. It was lame for them to have to come to Bible School in their minds. So I knew that I had to do something to win them over.
So rather than just sitting them in the classroom and teaching them, I opted for the scavenger hunt approach. They went from clue one finding a ring to clue 9 finding a cup of water. They read all the verses along the way, and by the time we reached the classroom, they knew all about Moses and Miriam and the Pharoah's daughter. And you know what else? They were SMILING and HAVING FUN.
Problem is, I've got to do the same thing for four more nights. So pray that I will have creative thoughts coming my way because I truly believe that middle school is such a critical age. Keeping them interested in God's Word at this age could shape their entire futures.
Hope all of you are doing well!

It's a Choice

2008-07-21T06:36:00.001-07:00

Well blogging buddies, I have to share a verse with you today that really hit me. Check out Psalm 119:30, "I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me."
See, this is something so obvious, but it was something I needed reminding of today. Doing the right thing is a CHOICE. And it's not just a choice you make once. It's a daily choice. A daily choice to keep God's laws before you and follow them.
There have been many times where it seemed like it would be so much easier to do the wrong thing, but God's ways are always best, even if it doesn't seem very easy at the time.
So today, I'm making the choice to do the right thing and to keep God's Word before me as a reminder of what that right thing is. Will you join me?

Also, could you please pray for Alaena. She has a sinus infection. Nothing too serious, but it breaks my heart to hear her little cough and see her weak little eyes! Thanks everyone!

Five Months? It Can't Be

2008-07-09T04:48:00.000-07:00

Well, Alaena is five months old today. It doesn't seem possible, it has flown by, but I can't really remember life before she came along. And I would never go back to life before mommyhood!
We're getting into more of a routine each day. She'll get up in the morning and eat just before I leave for work, so I get to enjoy her smiles and laughter first thing. Then I have to go to work. When I get home we spend some play time together, then it's time for cereal. Now that is where it really gets interesting. A five month old is anything but neat when eating cereal. Despite my best efforts she ends up covered in the stuff. I've decided my best route of action is to strip her to the diaper, feed her then give her a bath. Because that cereal it is sticky!
Sometimes I wonder if God does me the same way. He allows me to get into my sticky messes, but He is always right there to clean me up when I come back to Him. He bathes me in His mercy and forgiveness. Then at times I run right back to the sticky mess, and He'll clean me up again. I'm so thankful for that never-ending supply of mercy.
What about you?

Mommy Time Monday

2008-07-07T05:34:00.000-07:00

Well blogging buddies, it is bright and early Monday morning, and I'm back at work after a long fourth of July weekend, and I decided to give you a mommy update.

It is getting tougher to leave Alaena each week. She just keeps getting more and more personality. I also believe she is getting another tooth, but other than the fact that she seems to want to chew on everything, it hasn't really had a bad affect on her.

She has learned to scrunch her nose when she smiles, which is apparently a Smith trait that passes along from generation to generation. My grandma does it, my dad does it, I do it, and now Alaena does it.

She has also turned into somewhat of a flirt. Someone will smile at her and she'll grin and turn her head against me and laugh.

So basically that's how my days have been filled lately. Enjoying the silly antics of my little one, and rejoicing in each new day that the Lord gives me with her. How has life been for you guys?

It May Be Wednesday, but I'm Still Grateful

2008-07-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I missed doing Gratituesday for two weeks in a row now. Last week I was on vacation. Just me and my girl had a "stay-cation" at home last week while my mom and dad went to the beach. It was great. So even though I missed the actual day, I still want to do a Gratituesday.
I am thankful for the time I got to spend with my little angel last week. She is getting so much personality, and I loved getting so much one on one time with her.
I am also thankful to say that we got through our first teething experience pretty much painlessly. Sunday was a bit of a struggle, and I wanted to cry with her, but after her first pearly white made an appearance on Monday, she was her happy, sunny self. So in my opinion, one bad day isn't that bad in the world of teething.
I am thankful that I only have to work three and a half days this week. Yay for the Fourth of July! I get to spend more time with Alaena!!!
Hope you guys are having a great week and thanking God for your blessings!

Gratituesday

2008-06-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

It seems that all I'm doing lately is offering up requests for prayer. But I haven't taken nearly enough time to tell what I'm thankful about. So, I'm going to join this Gratituesday thing. Because I have tons and tons to be thankful for.
I have a beautiful, healthy little girl. Her smiles and laughter get me through the day. And everytime I look at her I have renewed purpose. God has given me an awesome responsibility, and I couldn't be more thankful to Him.
I also have a great mom who keeps my little girl while I'm at work. And if I can't be there myself, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Also, there may be some happy news on the horizon that I can't really share here yet, but just know it would be an answer to a long-time prayer.
I'm feeling much better about the day already! I'll have to keep this gratituesday thing up!!

Got Through the First Father's Day

2008-06-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

Well guys, I think I can breathe now (she says as she peers cautiously behind her back leery of what may be coming her way!) Things have finally steadied out here at work, and home life should be less hectic this week. Last week we had revival, and I didn't get home until at least ten every night, then we had to sing Saturday night, church and father's day stuff yesterday. You get the picture.
Yesterday was tough for me. See, Alaena's dad has recently gotten into more trouble, which means he still isn't a part of her life. His parents however are a part of her life, but that gets tricky. See, they really love Alaena, and I truly believe they want what's best for her, but they also wish their son would do better, and at times they think seeing her would change him. And if it did change him, that would be great, but if it didn't the harm done could be monumental. So it's like I'm in a Catch 22. It's hard to know which way to turn.
But I've prayed about it a lot, and it seems that God wants me to stick to my guns. Either he's completely clean, or he doesn't see her, and suprisingly enough, Alaena's dad is actually agreeable to that. Sad part is that he doesn't really seem to want to clean up his act.
Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect, please don't think that. We all sin. But the things Alaena's father is involved in are harmful to himself, and cause him to do things harmful to others. And I don't want to condone that in anyway in front of her, nor do I want her to be hurt by it. I have talked to him about Christ, and he knows that's the way he should go, but he doesn't seem to be to the point that he wants to.l
But I kept looking over my shoulder yesterday thinking he would show up and demand rights in light of the paternal holiday and all. I guess I'm saying all of this to let you guys know that I need your prayer. Prayers that I would make wise decisions. Prayers that Alaena's grandparents would be understanding. Prayers that Alaena's dad would get the help he truly needs through Christ.
Thank all of you for all your support!

New Pictures

2008-06-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post some new pics of my little girl for you guys! Hope you're having a blessed week!

The Girl, She has Stuff

2008-05-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Alaena has officially been on her first out of town trip. She and I went down to my brother's house for Memorial Day weekend, and let me tell you. This girl has some stuff. I mean I knew she had it all, and it was just a few months back I was sorting it all out, but until I went to pack all of the stuff she'd need for the weekend, I don't think I realized the massive amounts of stuff she has!
I mean, whatever had come our way, we were prepared. But you know that's just how it should be. We should always be ready for what comes our way in life. We should be ready for the storm before it comes.
And we prepare ourselves for those storms by praising God and learning about Him long before the clouds are in the sky. I heard a preacher say something the other day that really hit me. He said, if you pray in the victorious times, you will never crumble in defeat. In other words, if you have a relationship with God while things are going good, you won't fall to pieces when the troubled times come.
Our relationship with God is something we should constantly be working on, no matter what the circumstances in our lives are.
So trust Him today, no matter where you are in life, and you'll be prepared when the storms come your way!

Don't Get Robbed

2008-05-22T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going to admit to it, I am an American Idol fan. It's my one true reality TV weakness. I guess because I sing, it's fun to see how the show progresses. Anyway, I've faithfully watched season 7 to see how things would go, and last night I watched the finale.
I didn't watch it live, however. I watched it on DVR. You know, that nifty little gadget that records all your shows when you can't be there to watch it at the normal time. Well, I had church last night so I DVR'd the finale. And I watched it all after church, every little cheesy song and dance number. Every joke. Everything except for the last minute of the show.
See, apparently American Idol must have gone over its time slot. DVR however is not all knowing, and it stopped recording exactly at 10 pm which is when it was supposed to have ended. So I saw the show until the point where Ryan Seacrest said, "And the winner of American Idol Season 7 is...." And then there was nothing.
The one minute in the whole season that is most important, and DVR missed it. Of course I now know that David Cook won, and really I liked them both so it didn't matter as much, but still, I love to watch the looks on the faces and all that.
Anyway, I got to thinking about it, and I wonder how many times in life we cut ourselves just short of the best part. We get right to the point of victory, and we crumble in defeat. We allow Satan to pull us away from where we should be, right when the battle is almost won.
I guess what I'm saying is don't let Satan rob you. There is too much out there for you. There are so many victories to be won, and you never know just how close you are to your triumph. So stay in the fight, don't give up!
Be blessed today!

Mother's Day, Round 1

2008-05-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was my very first mother's day being a mother, and I must say that I like the little celebration. I got "youngest mother" at my church which got me a $20 dollar gift certificate to Family Bookstore. Now I can buy a new book to read while I pump for Alaena, being that pump time is the only reading time I really have right now, but I'd much rather spend time with Alaena then read anyway.
But in honor of mother's day, I figured I would give you a rundown of what my life as a mother has been like thusfar (of course this will be the condensed list type version because this could go on forever!)

1. Blessed - I just don't know what I would do without this little girl. Her smiles lift my spirits. Her funny little actions make me laugh out loud. Plus, God has provided for both of us in a way that can only be described as miraculous. Last Sunday someone just handed me $40, and said God had told him to do it. I am most definitely blessed beyond measure.
2. Scary - Just the thought that I am responsible for this little life blows my mind. Every cry just wrenches right to my heart. And yes, I know babies will cry, and sometimes you have to let them cry it out. But there's always the thought back there where I wonder if this cry means something is really wrong, and what if I don't realize it? So I check on her regularly even if I am trying to let her "soothe herself." Then there's the thought that I'm spiritually responsible for her in the crazy world we live in.
3. Hilarious - I have stories about being peed on or watching my child pee on someone, or having her pass gas louder than a man at my friends house. And stories about how she can kick out of shoes as fast as you put them on, which shows she really is a Smith.
4. Mystifying - There are some things I'll never understand, like why her fingers are so much better than a pacifier, or why the red thing that covers the screws on her swing is so hypnotizing, or why the part of bathtime she doesn't care much for is the part after the bath when I put lotion on her. I also don't know where all the baby socks disappear to in the wash.
5. Rewarding - There is no better feeling than to have someone else be holding her and have her look around the room until she finds me and then to have her eyes lock on me until she's back in my arms. She just knows that with me is where she's supposed to be.
6. Fun - Now, I never plan to be a parent who pushes my child to do anything they don't want, and I refuse to turn my child into a "tiny adult" by making her up, but I love to dress her up in her cute little dresses and shoes (because I LOVE shoes). I also love doing her "excercises" with her. She especially likes to "row the boat" while I sing the song (my singing these days is becoming more and more infused with baby songs, Skidamarink a dinky dink is a phrase that often passes my lips).
Like I said, this list could go on forever, but I just wanted to share a little bit with you guys about my mommy days. What are some of your feelings on being a mom?

It Can't Be May Already

2008-05-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, blogging buddies, this year is flying by. This Friday Alaena will be 3 MONTHS old. I can't believe it. Time flies so fast. Yet, though it feels like such a short time, I can't remember life without her. She's just such a huge part of my life.
Anyway, lots is still going on at work. I do fear that my desk is becoming a bigger fire hazard by the minute. The papers, they are piling up, but at least being busy makes my days go by faster so that I can get home and spend time with my baby girl.
I hope all is going well for all of you out there. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to post a real post. Until then, be blessed!

Getting Closer to the Top

2008-04-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Well guys, I haven't quite reached the top of the mountain yet, but I am getting closer. I have a lot more things under control here at work now, and I don't feel quite so frantic. So by Monday, God willing, I will be able to do a normal post. Today, I just wanted to share a little verse of encouragement from Luke 21:28,

"And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh."

Jesus knew that before He returned things would get crazy. He knew about the stress men would face. He knew about the fears that would seize us. But He didn't just leave us to face these things alone. He gave us hope. Hope in the fact that He will return for us. Hope that when all seems lost, we have been redeemed by Him. Rest in that hope today!

It's Been A Little Crazy

2008-04-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm getting back into the swing of things here at work. I mean MAJORLY getting into the swing of things. Over the last couple of weeks ticket development has exploded, and I can barely see the light of day. So, I will post as I can, but right now I'm trying to climb out from under this mountain on my desk. I have affectionately named this mountain "The Mess that is Merona." Prayers for sanity would be appreciated! Hope to see you guys soon!

The Saving Bread

2008-04-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't get to post yesterday because work has been in a word, INSANE. But I promised that I would be posting about what the Bread of Life is to me, so I will keep my promise. So today, I will be discussing Christ as "The Saving Bread."
Now in my life, I don't really remember what a life-saving thing bread truly is. I mean it's always readily available to me. I've never spent a day where I went hungry (I could actually do with a few days like that probably!) But there are millions out there who have nothing to eat that see bread as a saving grace.
Way back in Genesis 41, there was a terrible famine. A famine that spread throughout all the land. But God in His mercy didn't just leave His people with no provision. He had forewarned the Pharoah of Egypt about the famine 7 years ahead of time. And he sent Joseph to make sure that Pharoah clearly understood His warning.
So all of Pharoah's people began to store up extra food for seven years, and when the famine came, they not only had food for themselves, but they had extra food to sell to those who came from lands around them.
Joseph's brothers came to buy bread from Egypt, and they were reunited with their brother. Most of us have heard the story of how Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery, and we've all thought about how awful they were. But God had a purpose, and through their evil ways, He showed Himself as the life-saving bread.
Now, the people of Israel would have perished if God had not provided bread for them during the time of famine. We would also perish if God had not provided the Bread of Life to us.
Look at these verses from John 6:32-33, "32Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven.
33For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world."
The Bread that gives life to the world. Think about that, this Bread could save every single soul if only every soul would come to Him. I don't know about you, but that thought just blows my mind. And it saddens me that some choose death over life when the Bread is so freely offered.
I am so thankful for that saving Bread today. Join me tomorrow as I talk about the Satisfying Bread!

Just Bread

2008-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I heard a message yesterday by Oliver Greene, and he was talking about the Scripture in John 6:35 where Jesus said, "I AM the Bread of Life." Now, I've heard this verse probably a million times in my life, but it hit me yesterday in a different way, because God is just awesome that way and gives you what you need just when you need it.
As I listened to the message I began to think about my niece. She's in that stage of life where she is pretty picky about eating. Sometimes she'll eat, other times she won't. A lot of times when we go to restraunts and my sister asks her what she wants she'll reply, "Just bread."
A nice and healthy diet for her. Carbs are apparently not her enemy. But when I started thinking about that statement in a spiritual sense, I realized Raegan has it pretty much dead on the money. When it comes to what we need, it's "Just Bread."
The problem with many people today is that they've decided to live their spiritual lives "Carb Free." They go through life without the Bread, and they are starving for Christ.
Over the next few days, I'm going to talk about what the Bread of Life is to me. In the meantime, make sure you aren't trying to live without the Bread you need!

Some New Pictures, and an Actual (Somewhat) Thought Out Post

2008-04-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I know. I need to get back to a normal schedule of posting. So I'm seeing this as a new week, a new beginning to the world of blogging if you will. So many things have been going on lately, and the thought will come to my mind, I really need to blog about that, and then things get hectic, and I never do. But as of today, I am resolving to post regularly about the stuff that comes to mind.
One thing that hit me a while back when my church had revival is what I want to post about today. The preacher said something that really hit me. He said, "It's time for us to stop worrying about being on the 'Whose Who' and start learning 'What's what'". The thought really made me think about not only my life, but Alaena's.
I mean, I'm new at this parenting thing, but I already hear myself planning. Wanting her to have a good future, to have a good education, to be happy in life. And there isn't anything wrong with those things, but they can't be my main priority. See, my goal as a parent isn't to make Alaena into some great public figure. My goal is to teach her about Christ. That's "What's what."
In light of eternity, it will never matter if Alaena is a great singer, or an amazing athlete, or a total genius. It will only matter that she knows Christ. That is a lesson I've been taught my entire life, and it's a lesson that I will strive daily to pass on to my daughter.
How about you? Are you focused on Whose Who or What's What?

Well, We Didn't Get to Church, but We Met the Easter Bunny

2008-03-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sad to say it, but Alaena didn't spend her first Easter in church. She spent it in the hospital. And to say that I was a tad bit freaked out over that situation wouldn't be exaggerating.

See a few weeks back at her one month appointment we were told that she was underweight because she hadn't even gotten back to her birth weight yet. So we had a followup weight check appointment. At that appointment she had gained three ounces, so it was all good, but they made one more weight check appointment just to be sure.

Well at that appointment a week later, she had lost two ounces. Which apparently in baby world is a HUGE MAJOR deal. Because Alaena's pediatrician made the immediate decision that she needed to be admitted into the hospital because of ALL the things that COULD be wrong with her.

At this point of the weight check appointment I was wondering why I didn't have my mom come to the appointment with me, what with the fact that I was crying more than my 6 week old little girl and everything.

Anyway, we spent the better part of Good Friday in the Bad ER. Because some kind of error was made when the doctor called the hospital and rather than them telling her to send me straight to admissions for Alaena to be admitted to the pediatric unit, they sent me to the pediatric ER. Anyway, we finally reached a room by 10 pm Friday night (I had gotten to the hospital at around 4 pm.)

I watched as they drew blood from my poor little one's arm and then watched as they catherized her. Praise the Lord all of the tests came back normal. And it appears that Alaena will just be a slow gainer. And I hope the three nights she spent in the hospital over Easter weekend will be the last nights she spends there for a long time.

As much as I hated to see her go through all of that, I believe it made me love and appreciate her twice as much. And it made me pray even harder for those who have children who are battling serious diseases. After having seen just a glimpse of the torture they go through daily, I pray that God will give them an extra measure of strength and grace and peace.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know a little bit about what has been going on in the past few weeks. If you think of it, send up extra prayers for those who you know are living life with a sick child. And if you don't mind, pray that my little girl will continue to gain weight!

Oh, and about the picture, the Easter bunny came around and took pictures with all the little kids in the Pediatric unit. I'm not much on the Easter Bunny, because I'd rather focus on Christ's ressurection, but I wanted a cheery picture to remember Alaena's first Easter with since she didn't get to wear her pretty dress, and I think it turned out pretty cute!

Well, It's Back to the Real World

2008-03-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official, my maternity leave is over. And for those who are wondering, YES, there were tears shed. On my part, not Alaena's. She was lying peacefully in her bassinet when I left. But work I must because for some reason the cell phone company and the people at the gas pump want cash, plus the hospital wants to be paid, and I must confess to some credit card debt (not too much, but some.)
Anyway, I promise to get to posting now that I'm back to being on a computer on a daily basis (I haven't even checked my e-mail in like 3 weeks!) But since I haven't been here at work for a little over six weeks, (I'll talk more about coming back a little late later) I must get things together to actually do some work!
I hope all of you out in blog world are doing well, and I promise to be visiting soon!

Just An Update

2008-03-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Hey Blogging Buddies! I know it's been a while since I posted. Learning how to be a mom has pretty much taken up all of my time! And I've had some sort of sinus funk for the last week or so. So being on the computer has not been on my list of priorities.
Well, Alaena turned 3 weeks old this past Saturday. I can hardly believe that time has flown so quickly. She is changing every single day. She is so alert, and she spends about an hour or so after each feeding just looking all around trying to figure out what kind of place she is in!
She had her first official bath this past Friday after she lost her umbilical cord stump Thursday night. She doesn't mind the bath thing so much, but she hates the part where I put lotion on her after the bath.
She has pretty much filled my entire world, and I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. She's just a precious gift from God! I promise to post some pics at some point this week! I've got to get some pics off of my sister's camera of Alaena's dedication service (she has a better camera than me!)
Well, I guess I'll end this here. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive and well. A prayer that I would get rid of the sinus funk would be appreciated! Also, a prayer that Alaena won't catch anything would also be appreciated!

A Confession of Sorts and Some Pics

2008-02-14T07:23:00.000-08:00

Well bloggy friends, GiBee asked me if I went the epidural route. And I readily confess that YES, I took the drugs. And all I can say is God bless that little man with the weird sense of humor. He may not have had the best personality in the world, but he sure made me feel better! To all those who have gone the natural route, God bless you, but I took the way out that God promised in hard situations!

Anyway, I'm sure my posting will be a bit sporadic over the next few weeks, but I will try to keep you posted on Alaena's progress! So today, I'll give you a few pics of my beautiful baby girl!

Pay no attention to the woman holding the adorable child. Look only at the cute one in her arms!

Raegan and Trace love their new cousin! And who could blame them. I'll just have to make sure that they know that Baby "Laena" isn't quite ready to roughhouse with them yet!

She's Here!!

2008-02-12T08:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm a few days behind on my announcement, but it's been a little hectic this weekend. I went into labor this past Friday morning at around 4:30 AM, and I went to the hospital at around 2 PM when my contractions got to be 4-5 minutes apart. I was progressing slowly, so they sent me home to go through more of the early labor because they are dealing with a flu epidemic in the hospital and said it would probably be better for me to be home rather than the hospital.

To say I was disappointed would be putting it mildly. I thought maybe they were just trying to get me out of there. But then at 4:30 Saturday morning my water broke. So we went back to the hospital, and I got checked in to stay. A few hours later I had to be put on Pitocin because Alaena wasn't progressing things quickly enough. Turns out she was turned toward my stomach rather than my back making things happen slowly, but fortunately she flipped around, and I went from being 6cm to being 10cm in an hour.

So I present to you Miss Alaena Addison Smith, born February 9, 2008 at 8:49 PM. She weighed 7lbs, 11oz and was 20 3/4" long. And of course I'm partial, but I think she is absolutely gorgeous! What do you think?

Talking to the Right Person Always Helps

2008-02-06T08:50:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm still hanging in here! So, she'll be a February baby after all. But hey, I love February's birthstone so yay for that!
Anyway, I haven't posted in several days because well, to be honest, you probably wouldn't have wanted to read my post! I went to the Dr. (if she can truly be called that) this past Friday. In short, I was tired from lack of sleep and in a lot of pain. And she pretty much asked no questions and didn't really give me much opportunity to ask any. She pretty much just wanted to get me in and out.
So I left out of there in a bad mood. And that's putting it nicely I think. Of course my anger got directed at you know, everybody but the "Dr" who had given me no answers. Which was wrong.
I had another appointment yesterday, and I saw a much better REAL Dr. He answered lots of questions and offered helpful suggestions. And my attitude is much improved. No, he didn't know when she would come. He pretty much said it's up to Alaena (who I have apparently made it very comfortable in there for!) But he said she could come anytime and offered suggestions to try to help me sleep better, excercises I could do, etc. He also put my mind at ease because he has my health and Alaena's health at his top list of priorities.
I guess talking to the right person always helps. My attitude should have been better regardless, but I did pray about it. Honestly I did, and I think God got me an appointment with the right Dr. yesterday.
So, today I'm just not stressing. It's all good, and she'll come when she is ready. Also, I slept better last night thanks to the good Dr's suggestions so, yay for that! Will keep you guys posted.
***As a side note, my Carolina Tarheels play Duke tonight. And I do believe it would be of God if Carolina beat Duke on the day Alaena was born, so I kind of have that hope. But if she isn't born today, I would just be happy to have Carolina beat Duke!! LOL!***

Biking for a Baby

2008-01-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hello all my blogging buddies. Welcome to day 3 of 8 minute apart contractions that are progessing things apparently, just VERY slowly. I'm slowly reaching the point of desperation due to the fact that I can not sleep or sit comfortably or walk comfortably. Yeah, pretty much comfort is a cherished memory.
So yesterday I walked around Walmart for a few hours before my Dr's appointment, and I was asked by pretty much every Walmart worker if I needed help finding anything. Those Walmart workers are helpful, I tell ya. None seemed to have a way to make contractions closer together, however.
So after the Dr told me that things are coming along slowly, I tried to think of ways to speed up the process. I've been given suggestions from Castor Oil to biking. Since I've heard horror stories about Castor Oil, I went with the biking. My grandpa threatened to video tape me, but I can promise you there will no videos of this pregnant woman riding a bike floating around the internet.
So starting yesterday afternoon, I began a biking marathon on the stationary bike. It has been put on hold until I get home tonight, but I plan to keep up the mobility through walking during the day today. Now, I know there are many good causes out there that do bike-a-thons. I have a friend who helps to head up a bike-a-thone for Relay for Life. Well, I think my cause is definitely worthy, though it may not affect the masses. So if you feel, you know, led of the Lord to send a donation, do what you must (LOL!)
In all seriousness though, please pray for my sanity level. Pain definitely drives you to levels of craziness. Yesterday I put my huge, pregnant self on a bike for hours (yes, I took breaks and didn't get too winded!) But I'm slowly beginning to hear the Castor Oil calling my name, luring me with its promise of driving me into hard labor. If only the battery on our four wheeler wasn't dead....

My Brain Is Mush

2008-01-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I want with all that I am to share something encouraging with you today. To give some thought to motivate you, but I honestly believe my brain has turned to mush. But I figured I better put a post out here so that you guys would know I'm still hanging on right now!
Anyway, if you'd just keep me in your prayers as the time draws near, I'd appreciate it. And I promise, if any original thoughts enter my head between now and go time, I'll be sure to share them with you!

A January Baby Just May Be In My Future

2008-01-22T08:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. And I made myself go in with no high hopes because I just knew he was going to say that she would be waiting around for another couple of months (or you know 3 or 4 weeks.) However, he gave me hope.
He said she has dropped really low, which I had thought anyway, but you know I've never been pregnant before, plus I didn't want to believe it only to have him say that she was still really high when I went to see him. Now, there's no dilation yet, and he THINKS I'll make it to next Monday's appointment, but he's pretty sure this little girl won't make it until February 10th. Though he did caution that some babies are just stubborn and after they drop they just sit there and sit there.
So, it isn't a sure promise, but I at least see a glimmer of that light at the end of the tunnel. So those steps I was talking about last week, you better believe I'll be going up and down them, and up and down them. Because we need to get this baby train a rolling!
And in order for her to have her "own day" she needs to be born tomorrow, Saturday or Sunday in the next week. And I've been given strict orders that she can't come Saturday because my niece's birthday party is Saturday, and her mommy (who happens to be one of my coaches) is for some reason expected to attend. She also wants her aunt Heather and her Grammy (my other coach) there. Of course, she really wants "Baby 'Laena" to be there too, but I'm pretty sure we're to close to the time for that now.
Anyway, I just wanted to give you guys an update. I'm going to be trying to teach my sister the blogging basics so that if anything happens, she can update you. I'll try to let you know about the birth of my little girl as soon as I can!

Between Sundays

2008-01-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to go to a luncheon where Karen Kingsbury was speaking. If you have never read one of her books, I suggest getting in your car and going to the bookstore or library NOW to get one and start reading it. Because her writing is POWERFUL. Her writing is truly blessed by God. (My beginning reading suggestion would be The Redemption Series.)
Anyway, I was not a bit disappointed in the event. Karen's speaking was just as annointed as her writing, and I came away challenged to live my life in a way that will make a difference in those I meet. One of the most powerful things she said was in reference to her new book Between Sundays. She was talking about what the book really meant to her. Now, I haven't read this one for myself yet. I have it, but Karen's writing tends to make me cry a lot. Because she just has a way of making her characters so real to her readers that you just feel like they are a part of your life. And due to pregnancy hormones, I'm a BIT emotional right now. Just a bit. I mean, I haven't cried over being skipped in a Phase 10 game or anything. Really, I haven't.
But just as soon as I feel I'm emotionally stable enough, this book is at the top of my list to read. Especially now that I've heard her reasoning behind it. See, she was talking about how important the moments between Sundays really are. I mean it's great to go to church, but if you forget about God during the rest of the week, what message are you putting out there. As I've often heard preachers say, you can't go to church on Sunday and live like the world on Monday.
Christianity is much more than that. Christianity is a DAILY walk that extends well past the church pew. Differences are made in lives around us in the way that we live our lives between Sundays. None of us are perfect, but others should see us striving to live for Christ. They should see that we realize when we are wrong and that with Christ's help we daily try to overcome those areas of temptation.
So my question to you today is how are you living between Sundays? If you were put on trial, would there be enough evidence to convict you of being a Christian? Let's all strive to make those days between Sundays days that will impact our world for Christ.

Those Twenty-One Steps I Will Be Climbing

2008-01-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

Well my friends, come Sunday I will be 37 weeks along. Meaning I'll be FULL TERM. As in, Alaena can come ANYTIME, and it would be all good. And let me just say that as much as I love my daughter, I'm very ready to have her in my arms rather than in my belly.
I know, I know. There are those of you out there saying enjoy this time. But your cries are falling on deaf ears. Ears attached to a very sleepy body. My nights are pretty much filled with heartburn, throwing up, an hour of sleep, repeat cycle. And I have no delusions about the fact that she will be a perfect child who sleeps through the night as soon as she comes home from the hospital. It's just nice to think of a time where I will be ABLE to sleep when I get the chance to lay down.
Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into a whiny post. It's actually an "I'm excited" post. Because I'm coming to the end of the waiting. I'm going to get to see my little girl. To hold her in my arms. To smell that baby smell. I can hardly wait.
So yes, I will be making a few extra trips up and down the twenty-one stairs (they've closed off the forty stair entrance) here at work for good measure beginning on Monday. They say extra walking could mean an easier labor. So I figure if it helps my goals of an EARLIER labor, what harm can it do?
And I know she could still keep me waiting for a good while, but it helps me to think I might be doing something to help progress. So walk I will.
I have a feeling God is going to be reminding me to wait patiently on Him many times in the coming weeks. And I know His timing is perfect. But I also know He has promised rest to His children. And I'm trusting in that promise!!!
Hope you guys have a great day!

Stay With His Plan

2008-01-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay in posting around here. It has been a hectic few days. I had my church shower Sunday, work has been really busy as I prepare for my time off, I've been spending my evenings putting together strollers and Pack N Plays and swings, and well, you get the picture.
Anyway, my grandpa preached a great message on Sunday morning, and it really made me think. It was about Abraham. Now we all know about Abraham. He left all he knew and followed God. He was a hero of the faith mentioned in Hebrews 11. He's one of the greatest men in Biblical history.
But what grandpa's message focused on was the fact that Abraham (or Abram as he was originally known) did not start out that way. See, Abraham had a few obedience issues. He sort of listened to God, but he adjusted the plan a bit more to his comfort zone.
If you look at Genesis 12:1, "Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee:"
It says that the Lord HAD said unto Abram. That means at some point before he and his father and his entire family moved TOWARD Canaan in chapter 11 he had been called. But Abram didn't quite do that. He didn't leave all of his kindred. He went with his father. And he didn't go to that land where God was leading. He stopped in Haran where his father had chosen to stop, and he didn't leave until his father died.
But God didn't give up on His plan, or on Abram. He reminded Abram of his call, and once Abram's father had died, Abram began to follow that call. He still had a few bumps along the way (fallout with his nephew Lot, lying down in Egypt, having an extramarital affair), but ultimately Abram came to the place where he became the hero of faith we know today.
Basically what I'm saying is that none of us are perfect. Abram started out as an idolater. He was from Ur of the Chaldees. But God saw what he could be, and He called Abram to a better plan, a better life. And like all of us, Abram took a path with a few twists and curves, but he eventually learned that following God completely was the ONLY way to live.
So if you find yourself in a place of disobedience, realize that you don't have to stay there. God still has a plan for you. He can still make something great and blessed out of your life. You just have to get back to His plan.

Sometimes God's Answers Aren't What We Expected

2008-01-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

There have been many times in my life where I've prayed, and God answered my prayer in just the way I've expected. But there are other times where His answers came in ways that I just had to trust Him and know that He was in control. I got an answer like that yesterday.
I won't go into all the details, but let's just suffice it to say that I've been in a battle about Alaena's father. A battle with myself, a battle with those around me, a battle with God, and a battle with her father himself. I've requested prayer on here for him before. And I have honestly prayed that God would reach down and just change his heart. I mean totally make him do a 180.
And I believe that God heard those prayers, and I believe that He gave him a choice. A crossroads if you will. The problem is that when I prayed for direction regarding what I was supposed to do where that area of my life was concerned, I always envisioned a miraculous change in the guy. A Paul kind of conversion you know, where God pretty much came down from heaven, slapped the boy in the head and said, "CHANGE!"
And honestly, I believe that God has been trying to do that. But there are times where people's hearts are just very hard, and no matter how many slaps on the head they receive, they just don't recognize them for what they are.
So yesterday, I received a call from her father, and he told me that he just can't find the strength to change, and pretty much to never mention him to Alaena. And it hurt. It hurt because I think of my little girl who may never know her father. But in the midst of the pain, I had a peace that could only come from God, and I knew that He had provided my answer about what to do where her father was concerned.
So, right now I'm standing in the midst of peaceful chaos. I'm at a place where I don't know exactly what will happen next, but I just know God is in control, and I don't have to worry about it. I do ask that you will continue to pray for her father, because he truly needs Jesus. He's made many professions in the past, but basically yesterday he said he truly didn't know what this whole God thing was about, and maybe God's plan for him was just to always mess up. Satan truly does have him confused.
But God has allowed me to see that for what it is, and I know that I can't allow Satan's confusing games to run my life. So for now at least, Alaena won't know her father. And since I'm a daddy's little girl, the thought of it breaks my heart just a bit. But God is a father to fatherless, and I just know that He will provide her all the love that she is missing from her daddy.
Please keep the two of us in your prayers. And if you are going through a crazy situation, realize that even when things seem totally insane, God is in control, and He will give peace in the midst of the craziest storm.

The Pepto Bismol Train Has Arrived

2008-01-09T09:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, don't worry, this post is in no way related to stomach issues. Let's just say that I had my first official shower yesterday, and now my house, well it's overflowing with all sorts of pink cuteness. Shades of "blush and bashful" are everywhere.
There was a time in my life that I hated all things pink. Not really sure why, but fortunately God has given me back a love for the color in the last few years (epecially when joined with the color chocolate brown). And that is a good thing, because when you have a little girl on the way, pink becomes the color of your life.
Now, I must admit, I was a bit worried before my shower because in the necessities of babyhood, I was a poor woman. I had pretty much jip. Honestly, I had little more than 3 diapers and a bassinet up until last Saturday. So my needs, they were many. And I prayed that God would provide because honestly, I didn't really have 4 or 5 thousand dollars just laying around to go buy everything on my registry myself.
And God answered prayer in a big way. I now have bottles, and bottle cleaners, and diapers, and bibs and blankets, and outfits (oh, the cuteness of the outfits), and Johnson's baby wash (gotta love that Johnson's baby smell!), and a swing, and a Sweet Peace, and a bouncer, and diaper bags (yes, I said multiple bags, including this adorable bag), and the list goes on and on. And plus I have another shower on Sunday. That list of benefits I was talking about yesterday, lets just say it's been added to. And I had already listed the great friends I have on there, but they now have tons of extra checks by their names because their generosity just amazes me!
I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes we don't need to be afraid to ask God for things. Part of my stress last Saturday was about how much having a little one will cost, and I offered up a feeble prayer to God asking for His help. And as I said, God gave me peace through His Word. And yesterday, He gave me peace through some of His people. People with generous hearts (and great taste I must say!)
So if you're stressing over something today, turn it over to God. Even if you think it is something that only matters to you. Sometimes we have not because we ask not (James 4:2). God does care about the things that are stressing us. He even cares about bibs, booties, and blankets. And He supplies them too, yes, He does!

Forget Not His Benefits

2008-01-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Well, despite the best of intentions to get back to normal posting, it just hasn't happened. Time seems to be going by in a whirlwind. In some ways that is very good (the end of the heartburn is near!) In other ways that is terrifying. Having her in my arms is going to bring a world of responsibility, but I know that God will be with me through each step.
I was having a bit of an emotional moment on Saturday night, stressing over the what if's. I had worked myself into quite a state, so I pulled out my Bible, and I began to pray that God would show me something He wanted me to see. The first verse I turned to was Isaiah 40:31, "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
I needed some renewed strength at that point. And the reminder that I didn't have to do this all in my strength was definitely from God. Then I got to looking at the reference Scriptures in the margin that Isaiah 40:31 went along with, and they took me to Psalm 103. And that is just where God wanted me to look.
See, Psalm 103 is a Psalm of praise. A Psalm to remind us of God's greatness. I couldn't get away from verse 2, "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:"
Forget not His benefits. Now, I don't know about you, but the first thing I do when I'm stressing is to start focusing on the negatives. And I believe Satan uses that to keep us discouraged. But Saturday night, I started a list of God's benefits. And you know what, I wasn't 5 or 6 items into that list before I started realizing that things weren't nearly as bad as they had seemed a few minutes before.
Why? Had the situation suddenly disappeared? No, I had just remembered that God is able. He's able to do whatever I need. He has blessed me time and time again. And He hasn't forgotten me. So there is no need to worry!
So today, I pray that you will remember His benefits. If you need to, take some time to just start your own list. I promise it will change your outlook!

New Year's Already?

2008-01-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to think how time has flown by over the holidays. I could hardly believe it when I had to set my alarm clock last night to come back to work. But hey, I'm very thankful I had a job to come back to. Many did not, so I start this new year off with a thankful heart.
I had promised myself that I would do a regular post today, but I am so behind on e-mails and other things here at work, that I must beg one more day. So I pray that each of you had a blessed Christmas and are also thankful as you have entered into the year 2008.
I must also offer up a prayer request for my sister, Crystal. She has been suffering with an absessed tooth since Christmas day. Our dentist was off until today, and she will be going to see him at 10 this morning. Please pray that she will get some relief from the pain!
Also, thanks for the prayers for my Aunt Teri, she is doing well after her surgery and was able to be at our family Christmas celebration and at church this past Sunday! God is good!

An Update and a Christmas Blogging Break

2007-12-20T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hey Everybody! So I wanted to give you an update on my Aunt Teri. She came through the surgery fine, and it looks like she'll be able to come home tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers and continued prayers for her speedy recovery would be appreciated!
I haven't been able to blog this week because it has been hectic. I've decided to just take a break from the blog until the new year! So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you! Hope you have lots of fun-filled memories with your families and remember what this time of the year is truly all about!

Prayer Needed

2007-12-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

I mentioned yesterday that my aunt Teri was having an MRI. They rushed the results and found that she needs to have surgery. She will go in for surgery on her neck next Thursday, which is the soonest the surgeon could possibly do this. Pray that God would give her relief from the pain in the meantime. Also pray that He would help her to maintain peace about the surgery.
As far as the surprise, sorry, nothing to offer. I was supposed to have a 3D ultrasound yesterday, but the technician had an emergency and couldn't be there. Oh well! I guess I'll see what she looks like soon enough!
It's going to be a busy day. Have to watch my niece and nephew this afternoon, then we have a Christmas party tonight. Lots going on! Hope you all have a great weekend!

In the Words of Trace and Raegan...WOOHOO and YIPPEE!

2007-12-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Lately, my adorable niece and nephew have been saying WOOHOO and YIPPEE to everything. Especially a phone call from their Uncle Ben who they would like to have living much closer.
So today I'm taking their favorite words and using them myself! Why? you might ask. Well because the wonderful people at VF Corporation have given us half a day off just because. Plus they gave us a gift card to boot. Now I'm not a shopper by any stretch of the imagination, but trust me, I will take free money any day, and right here at Christmas, it's extra nice!
So I have things to do before getting out of here (like getting food from the brunch buffet they setup for us!) But I'll post a normal post tomorrow. To all of you working people out there, may your Christmas be blessed with some much needed time off! And maybe, just maybe I'll have a special surprise tomorrow. Just offer up a prayer for cooperation! (I'll explain tomorrow!)

***And in all seriousness, please pray for my Aunt Teri. She's been having severe pain in her neck and has had some loss of use in her left arm. She had an MRI this morning. Please pray that she'll receive some answers from this test quickly. Better yet, pray that God would remove this pain from her body entirely. Thanks to all you prayer warriors out there!***

Take A Stand

2007-12-12T09:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my mom and my cousin Scott put my mom's lighted Christmas tree and deer out in the yard. I think my mom was trying to make it seem more Christmasy despite the fact that it's 80 degrees here in NC. Anyway, they took the deer out, set them up, got out the extension cords and put everything where it looked neat.
The entire time our dog Chocamo (don't ask, there were arguments about whether to name him Chocolate or Mocha, so we ended up with the mix), anyway, Chocamo just stood by and watched. He had no problem with the deer in the yard. That is until my mom plugged them in. Then Chocamo went crazy barking at the "invaders" in the yard. See, the deer move their heads back and forth. I suppose that as long as the deer weren't moving, they were fine, but when they made a move, it made Chocamo very uncomfortable. To the point that it took him quite a while to come back into the front yard. I believe by this morning he had made his peace with the deer.
I said all that to say this. I think we are sometimes like those deer, and the unsaved people around us are like Chocamo. The unsaved have no problem with us as long as we don't make a move. If we just say we're Christians and pretty much leave it at that, they have no problem with us. It doesn't make them uncomfortable.
But when we start acting out our faith, putting works behind our words, then it puts them out of their comfort zone. And some of them will yell and scream and make big fusses about how we shouldn't be so vocal about our faith. Others will avoid us all together. And then some will finally make their peace with us and realize that there is something to what we have to say.
And it's for those who realize that there is something behind our words, that we must continue to stand. See, my mom wasn't going to unplug her deer simply because the Chocamo didn't like them. She knew he'd get used to them eventually. And this morning he was laying beside them, so I guess she was right. We can't stop taking a stand when someone calls us a crazy fanatic. We can't stop taking a stand when people choose not to be around us. We must stand no matter what. Check out this verse from I Corinthians 15:58, "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord."
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes your Christian walk may make those around you uncomfortable. But your work is not in vain, and you just never know when your stand might convince someone around you that they should come to Christ as well. So stand strong no matter what!

An Important Thought In A Moment Of Clarity

2007-12-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

I know that I haven't been as faithful to posting lately as I have been in the past. And right now I can't even blame this on the fact that I've been busy. Actually, in preperation for my maternity leave I've handed most of my work off to someone who is training for my job, and my boss is using me for special projects. So basically, I'm bored.
But despite the fact that I have tons of time to blog, this doesn't help the fact that my mind seems to be completely devoid of original thoughts. I fear I'm suffering from what my sister calls baby brain. I mean sure, I could have posted about the new shape of Trix cereal and how I wonder if it really is better now that it's shaped like a circle instead of the cute little fruit shapes. (Trix is now a favorite cereal of mine, and before you tell me about the sugar it contains, let me just remind you that it's a great source of whole grain AND calcium. Two things I need right now!) Anyway, I didn't think you'd be interested in the Trix shape debate.
Or I could have posted about the fact that 3 year olds seem to be mortally afraid of blowing their noses, despite the fact that they can't possibly be able to breathe because they are so stopped up, or the fact that the same 3 year olds don't seem to like breathing through their mouths because they just might not remember to breathe if they breathe through their mouths. Or this could just be my 3 year old niece, who knows.
Then I thought about how some people get so into the Christmas season that they put antlers and a red nose on their Jeep and lead the way for all the other cars going down the highway. I mean I've been having some very serious, thought provoking things flying through my mind lately.
But then I actually saw something yesterday that made me think, and miracle of all miracles I still remember it this morning. So in honor of this moment of clarity and memory, I will share this thought with you!
Actually, it was a thought brought on when I saw an article titled, "Ice storms bring power outages, deaths." Now, I didn't have a chance to read the article, but the title struck me. I mean doesn't that order seem to be a little off. When exactly did the loss of a modern convenience take precedence over the loss of human life?
Now I'm sure that this writer had no intention to make light about the people who had died in the ice storm, but the title just made me think about how little the death of others affects us now-a-days.
I mean, TV subjects us to death every single day. And most of the time it isn't just the kind of death where someone passed in their sleep. It's usually death caused by a violent murderer, or a terrible car crash, or a house fire.
And after a while, it becomes just another death. Which is how I believe Satan wants us to react. Because if we become immune to the fact that people are dying all around us, then we forget the urgent need to share Christ with those dying souls.
And that's an urgent need we can't afford to forget. Because many of those dying souls won't go to heaven, and some may never even know they had the chance if we don't take the opportunity to share with them while we have it.
So I think God gave me this moment of clarity to remind me how important it is to be on the lookout for those souls, and maybe, just maybe He wanted me to remind you too!

Going Into Your Samaria

2007-12-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

My brother preached at my church Sunday night, and he brought out a point that I hadn't ever really thought about. He brought a sermon out of John 4 where Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well.
I'd always heard about how Jews weren't supposed to associate with Samaritans. Samaritans were considered beneath them. A Jew was supposed to go out of his way to avoid going through Samaria.
But Jesus said he, "must needs go through Samaria." And you want to know what, it wasn't even in his direction. He went OUT OF HIS WAY to go through the place that most avoided. He went out of His way to a place of discomfort in order to bring this woman the Water of Life.
Then my brother said something that really convicted me. He said, "How many times do you go out of your way to go through your Samaria?"
And I honestly had to say, "Oh me!" Because as much as we try to say that the Jews were being racist or terrible, how many of us are just like them. How many of us would drive 20 miles out of our way in order to avoid getting gas at the gas station in the bad part of town.
Now, I know that we all use the same excuses. "It's just not safe to go there." "The gas is cheaper at the nicer gas station." And those excuses may be true. The question is, if Jesus called you to go and stand by a gas pump and pump gas for strangers in a bad part of town, would you be willing to do it. Would you be willing to make yourself uncomfortable in order to win someone for Christ?
Before you say, "Well, Jesus isn't ask me to risk my life!" I have to say, our lives are not our own. And if Jesus calls us to do something, I believe He will offer His protection to us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was convicted that I need to get more out of my comfort zone. I need to be more willing to go into my Samaria when I'm called there. (And we are all called there. After all Jesus included Samaria in His great comission in Acts 1:8.) Who knows, maybe you'll see me at the gas station someday!

A Firm Foundation

2007-11-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I know I said I'd be back to normal posting on Tuesday, but this has been an insane week. My boss and coworker have been out of town. I'm their backup for things here as well as their technical support for any issues they have down there, so I've been on the phone more this week than I ever care to be.
But this morning, I saw this picture, and thoughts began racing through my mind, and I just had to share.

I've always been taught how important a firm foundation is. And I don't know about you, but a seemingly endless space of nothing but air is definitely not my idea of a firm foundation. It's my idea of a death wish actually.
I found this passage from I Timothy 6:18-21 about laying a firm foundation, and I thought I'd share it with you:

18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.
20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:
21 Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.

Building a firm foundation has two very important steps. One, making sure you have good building material. Two, making sure to avoid the things that will ruin your foundation. See, you can have a great foundation, but allowing yourself to be deceived opens your foundation up to destruction.
I don't know about you, but I want to make sure that my foundation stays strong. I want to be fully grounded in Christ so that I can teach my little Alaena how important a strong foundation is. Just like my parents taught me!

Just Checking In

2007-11-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

Well blogging buddies, I'm back from a very restful Thanksgiving weekend. Honestly, I spent a lot of time with my mom just sitting around watching Christmas movies and napping. Of course we put up the Christmas decorations and did some cleaning, but all in all I did pretty much nothing all weekend. And it was great! Sometimes you just need a few days like that.
I went to the Dr. as I said last Tuesday for my sugar test. I haven't heard anything on it, so I'm assuming that my sugar isn't high or anything, which is good. She is measuring big right now though, so they're going to do an ultrasound to check her measurements. Now I know it's early, but the words "measuring big" strike just a bit of fear in my heart. After all, I weighed 9 lbs at birth. And the pictures of my mom after having me where every vessel in her eyes had burst kinda make me oh I don't know, terrified!
But God doesn't give us more than we can handle right? So maybe, just maybe Alaena will be a 6 lb little bundle of joy with a small head. But if not, I'm very sure that God will provide just the right anesthesiologist to give an epidural!
In all seriousness, I'm glad to say that everything looks healthy with my little girl. And I'll try not to get too worked up about the "measuring big" thing. I'll be back around to normal posting tomorrow! Just wanted to fill you guys in on what has been going on.
How did you guys enjoy your Thanksgiving weekend?

You Don't Need Turkey to Be Thankful

2007-11-20T08:10:00.000-08:00

Well here we are at the Tuesday before Thanksgiving (well Thanksgiving here in the US anyway, my Canadian friends celebrated it back in October I believe.) I can't believe how this year has flown, but suddenly I'm getting e-mail reminders about the Thanksgiving lunch here at work, and I'm like, "Whoa!"
Sadly, I won't be partaking of the Thanksgiving luncheon today. I have a sugar test today at my checkup for Alaena. Now, everyone told me I should reschedule this appointment so I could eat the lunch, but really it's okay with me. See, I don't need the turkey to be thankful.
I have so much else to be thankful for! Here's just a short list:

1. I have salvation from sin and a promise of an eternal home with my Savior in heaven
2. I have a great, loving, supportive family who are there for me no matter what
3. I have a wonderful church family who encourage and love me in the good times and bad
4. I have a beautiful daughter on the way, who serves as a constant reminder to me of God's grace and forgiveness
5. I have good doctors and nurses who try to ensure that Alaena will be healthy when she arrives
6. I have my blogging buddies who pray for me and try to encourage me along the way

And I could go on and on and on, but you get the idea. The meaning of the holiday isn't found in the food on the table. It's found in the depths of our hearts. In the place where we treasure all those good things God has done for us!
So I ask you, what are you thankful for today (besides the turkey!!)?

What I'm Resting In Today

2007-11-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

Honestly I am so sleepy right now that I don't think I can put two coherent thoughts today, so I figured I'd just share a verse with you today.

Check out this verse from Matthew 11:28, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

I don't know about you guys, but rest sounds REALLY good to me! So today I'll be resting in the promise that I serve the giver of rest!

I Want to Be Closer

2007-11-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I stayed at my sister's house. That meant sharing a bed with my three year old niece. This isn't a horrible experience. She's not a kicker or anything, but she gives a whole new meaning to the word close. She's definitely a snuggler.
So I spent a good portion of the night trying to sleep in a spot that was half my body size because every time I tried to move a few inches away for some breathing room, she'd snuggle closer.
Kids are generally like that. They crave closeness. The words personal space mean little to them. Even trips to the bathroom can rarely be taken alone at my sister's house.
It really made me start to think though. God wants me to come to Him like a child. (Mark 10:15) First off, He wants me to trust Him completely, regardless of the situation. But He also wants me to crave closeness with Him.
Check out this verse from James 4:8, "Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."
He wants us to snuggle up to Him. He wants us to have that close, personal relationship with Him. There's no part of our lives He doesn't want to share.
So draw closer and closer to Him. It's a relationship you'll never regret!

Take It With You

2007-11-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

Last week I finished birth and baby classes. I went a little early to avoid having to go around holiday time. Anyway, my instructor was HILARIOUS. She had us cracking up with her comparisons and her horror stories.
One night she was talking about discomfort during the last couple of months of pregnancy and telling us some things we could do to be more comfortable. One thing she suggested was remembering to take our belly with us when we moved. She said the muscles get stretched out, and when you go to roll over or stand up suddenly, you needed to remember to put a hand on your belly and take it with you.
It actually has been a helpful little hint. Makes it easier to move when I take my belly with me. Made me start thinking about some other things it is important to take with me. Check out these verses:

Psalm 116:13, "I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the LORD."

Psalm 119:111, "Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart."

Proverbs 4:13, "Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life."

James 5:10, "Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience."

Revelation 22:17, "And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely."

We take our salvation. We take the testimony of Christ. We take the instruction He gives us. We take the examples of other believers. We take the water that gives us life.
Now, we've heard over and over that we should keep these things with us, hold them dear to us. This isn't any new message. But sometimes we need a reminder.
I must admit, the first time I heard that teacher say, "Take your belly with you." I was like "DUH!" But then I tried to turn over in the midst of the night, when I was half asleep and I forgot to take my belly. And let me tell you from experience, it's not a good idea to forget your belly.
It's also not a good idea to forget the things of Christ. They are treasures to carry with us everywhere we go. So wherever you may go today, take Christ. Trust me, you won't regret it!

Living Peaceably

2007-11-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of praying lately about a situation. A situation that sometimes makes me so angry I want to scream (because screaming IS the answer to problems, you know.) Anyway, I've run the situation over and over in my mind, trying to figure out if there is someway that you can brainwash a person to just DO THE RIGHT THING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
But as much as I've thought about it, I've come to realize that no, I can't change anyone. I can only change myself (with God's help.) And I must leave the rest in God's hands. I also woke up with a passage of Scripture in my head this morning that I know came from God.
The passage is Romans 12:17-19:

17Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Now, I must admit, I offered up a few, "But God's" when this verse came to mind. But the thing is that God was trying to remind me that someone else's wrong, doesn't excuse me when I do wrong on top of it.
My responsibility is to keep peace on my side of things. My responsibility is not to return hateful remarks for those aimed at me. My responsibility is to place it in God's hands and know that the Lord will take care of the situation in His time and His way.
Now I'm sure that God will have to keep replaying these verses in my head over the weeks, months, probably years to come. But that is my goal. I'm going to be the peaceful one. I'm going to choose my words prayerfully. And I'm going to put it all in God's hands.
And a few prayers from you guys that I'd keep these verses in mind wouldn't hurt at all!

But I Don't Want Him to Go...

2007-10-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to pick up my mom from my sister's house. She keeps my niece and nephew, and she decided to ride home with me instead of driving home yesterday. Anyway, when I got there Raegan and Trace's "Pa" (their dad's father) was there. He'd come by for a short visit before his normal Tuesday night bowling.
Of course my niece and nephew had taken to climbing all over them and saying, "Pick me up, Pa." Then my niece took to untying her Pa's shoes. Not really sure why, but she has an obsession with untying shoes. Her Pa watched her untie them them retied them without saying a word. Again she untied them, and and again he retied them. This happened several times, then he got "firm" and said, "Now, don't untie my shoes, okay? I've got to leave in a minute"
His firm words obviously struck fear into the heart of my niece because she took a whole five seconds to untie the shoes again. I said, "Raegan, Pa said not to untie his shoes. He has to go in a minute."
She said, "But I don't want him to go!"
And I thought about how many times we try to change the outcome of things by doing things we know we shouldn't. My niece knew she wasn't supposed to untie her Pa's shoes again, but she did it in efforts to keep him at her house longer.
It's an inborn trait to try to get things to go our way using any means necessary. Now, it didn't really hurt anything for my niece to untie her Pa's shoes, but if allowed to continue in that attitude, she'd be looking at nothing but trouble in a few years.
As we grow older, we come to realize that our irrational reactions really do nothing to help our situations. I'll give you an example. When I first found out I was pregnant, my first thought was running my car into a tree. Now, you may judge me, or feel sorry for me, or think I'm purely crazy for that. But that was just my honest first reaction. Not because I hated the thought of Alaena, but because I wasn't really sure I could bear the shame of the whole situation or if I could handle telling everyone I needed to tell.
And that was Satan's first offered solution to the situation. Fortunately, the Holy Spirit was with me. He offered me a friend who offered immediate prayer and comfort. He gave me the assurance that He was still with me, and that if I put my cares on Him, He would take care of me (I Peter 5:7.)
So I didn't run my car into a tree. And you know what, looking back, I can see that thought for just what it was. A trick that Satan tried to pull on me. Because, doing that would have caused more grief to my family then this pregnancy ever could. And had I done it, I would have never had the chance to use this situation to help others. Which is just what Satan wanted.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you're looking for the easy way out, remember that the aftermath of your choice may cause more problems then you realize. And if you take the road that seems hard at the time, you may get more blessings out of it then you ever realized was possible.
Remember too that there are others out there facing problems (I Peter 5:8-9.) And the same God will give all of us strength if we lean on Him. And it's much easier to walk these hard paths together.

So I Believe I'm Supposed to Write Here...

2007-10-29T11:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, just so you know, I have totally felt all of your prayers since my last post. God has given me peace about some situations by handling them completely, and He has given me peace about others by showing me that only HE can change some people and some things, and that my stressing over them is only hurting me. Trust me, that may sound like it was easy, but it wasn't, and I know that the way God helped me is through your prayers and the prayers of others surrounding me.
Anyway, I didn't post again last week because we had our fall festival for church Saturday. This event is normally held at my house, but we had 8 inches of rain last week (praise Jesus for this help during our drought situation!) so we figured parking about a hundred cars in our field probably wouldn't be the smartest move, so we moved the festival to our church. Thursday and Friday were spent running around like crazy trying to get things together. It all came together. But by 8 pm Saturday night, I was worn slap out. (That's NC speak for really tired.)
So that's my excuse for not posting. I promise to TRY to get back to posting a regular post tomorrow. But for today, I'd like to offer up a few requests:

1. My Aunt Teri is facing some sickness right now

2. Alaena's father (this falls under some of the only God can change things category, but he really needs prayer for spiritual matters right now)

3. Several friends who I am worried about in their spiritual walks

I pray that all of you are having a blessed Monday!

Proverbs 9:10

2007-10-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody! Yes, I'm still here. I haven't felt much like posting lately. I've been down in the dumps and stressing over things I can't change. Because, you know, stressing about them totally helps. Yeah, right.
But God slapped me with this verse this morning, and I've decided, I'm not going to let Satan defeat me. Check out Proverbs 9:10, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding."
See, I can't rest in my own understanding. I must fear the Lord. I must trust that He is the almighty God, and that He will take care of every situation. Even the ones I get myself into.
As I have heard many times over the last few weeks, I know that God has forgiven me, and I must forgive myself. I think part of having knowledge of holy things is in knowing that I must ask forgiveness, but another part is knowing that I can't just pick that guilt up and carry it over and over again. I must trust that God has forgiven me, and that is enough.
I'm probably babbling on and on here, and I must be a bit vague. But here's the gist of it. Sometimes I feel that God allows us to bear the consequences of our sins. I'm in that place right now (though I love Alaena with all that I am.) And then I think that at the same time, Satan tries to throw other things at you and make you think that those things are consequences of your sin in order to keep you from fully resting in God's forgiveness (I'm dealing with some of that as well, though I don't really feel I should share the whole of those details here.)
But today, I'm going to learn from this verse. I'm going to fear God, not Satan. God has given me all the armor I need to be able to stand against the wiles of the Devil. (Ephesians 6:11) And I will no longer allow him to keep me defeated. I'm a forgiven child of the King, and my time of ministry is NOT over. In God's strength I am able to raise this child on my own. And through Christ, I am claiming the victory in this battle.
I ask that each of you will offer up a prayer for me and Alaena today. I am sure that Satan will continue to fight, but I'm going to rest in God's wisdom, and I will NOT allow him to conquer us.

A Prayer Request and A Praise

2007-10-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'd like to ask all of you to offer up a special prayer for Ethan. This little boy has been through so many battles in his short life, but God has given him many victories. He and his parents need our prayers right now as he faces another battle with leukemia.

Oh, and I must offer up a praise, it rained here last night. North Carolina is in a state of severe drought. Several areas have a only a month or two left in their water supplies. So this rain is much prayed for.

Spend Some Time with Your Family

2007-10-15T09:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a family reunion for the Apple side of my family. This is my Grandma on my dad's side's family. Now all jokes about crazy family aside, I really actually enjoy our family reunion.
I think my love for it came when my Great Grandma Apple had a stroke. You have never seen a family come together like ours did. We filled an entire waiting room at the hospital on more than one occasion. And when she came home, everyone came together and shared the responsibility for caring for her. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren took on the responsibility of staying nights so that her children could handle the daytime care without completely crashing. Granted, it helps that my Great-Grandma had four children, and that between them they all had sixteen children. And I'm not even going to try to count the grandchildren's children. Let's just say there are A LOT of us.
Anyway, from that point on, we've been a tighter family. No, we don't call each other everyday, but we look forward to seeing each other more. Most of us don't groan and say, "Not another family reunion." Because we've learned that time with family is something to be cherished because not one of us is guaranteed a tomorrow, and we've learned what coming together as a unit can do.
Kind of makes me wonder why so many Christians avoid spending time with their spiritual families. Now, I'm not trying to get up on a soapbox here or anything. But the Bible commands that we fellowship one with another. (Hebrews 10:25) Yet, so many people throw that command to the side. They put church off as something they can do "next week" then it becomes, "Well, I'll go next week." Pretty soon you have a Christian who has no fellowship with fellow believers at all.
As a pastor's granddaughter, it's easy to see how much people are missed when they aren't in church. And I do my best to encourage people to be there.
But the thing is that we shouldn't be there just because the pastor expects us to be there or because the person we share a pew there will whisper about us if we aren't there. We should be there because it will please Christ. And because it will help us to grow closer to Him by fellowshipping with His people.
Because, just as my family learned, we aren't guaranteed a "next time." We aren't guaranteed another Sunday to be in our place at church. Now is the time we should be doing all we can to grow in Christ. And trust me, there's a whole lot more we can do together as believers than any of us can do on our own.

Is It Friday Already?

2007-10-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I had the best of intentions, but my brain apparently turned to mush this week and refused to offer up an original thought. I blame allergies and the sudden turn from 90 degree weather to 40 degree weather. Regardless of the cause, I'm stuffy headed with a sore throat and ears. (For all of you motherly types out there, yes, I have called the doctor!)
So, I'll try again next week to post some original thoughts. If you don't mind offering up a little prayer for me to have a clearer mind! And a less stuffy nose.

For Both of Us

2007-10-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sure some of you remember that last year I did the Bible in 90 days reading. It was a great time of study for me where I learned a lot of things. This year I've decided to take it one step further. See, people told me I should be reading to Alaena. So I thought, what better to read to her than the Bible? So Alaena and I are doing the Bible in 90 days.
And I must say that I believe in doing the reading out loud I'm going to learn even more than I learned last year. I don't know the ins and outs of what reading to a baby in the womb does for brain development. But my real goal is spiritual development. I'm going to train this little girl about Jesus from the womb. After all, that's my duty as a parent.
I'm going to follow Proverbs 22:6, "6Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
In my case it's a she, but I think the same principle applies. I want to take this parenting duty very seriously. I may not be able to provide her with every toy she ever desires, or a brand new car the day she turns 16. But I will teach her about Christ, and that's a training worth far more than any material possession.
If any of you have thought about reading the Bible in 90 days, I challenge you to do so. It's definitely something that will help you grow spiritually. And hey, if you're expecting a little one, you may just be able to do a little pre-birth training too!

It's Finally Friday!

2007-10-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy hectic! Not a spare moment to post, but I promise next week I'll try to be more on the ball. Today I'll just share this verse with you:

Isaiah 55:6, "Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:"

Hope you're all calling on Him today! Have a great weekend!

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?

2007-09-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but this is a line that truly hits home with me. Once again, this is totally me at times. Why? Because though I want to surrender my life to God, there are certain areas I want to cling to. There are certain parts that it is harder for me to trust Him with.
My family is one of those things. Many of you prayed with me last year when my dad was facing surgery. The thing is that it was so much easier to trust God when it was me going through the surgery. Having to hand my dad over to him knowing there was nothing else I could do was hard.
But He has proven time and again that He knows so much better than I do. He has a perfect will for each person in my family just as He has a perfect will for me. I just have to surrender to His control.
Another area I struggle with is the financials. It is so hard for me to trust when things get a little tight. I find myself scrambling for solutions when I should be praying for God to provide and trusting that He will do JUST THAT.
I'm sure that each and everyone of us have things that we want to keep to ourselves. Things we don't want to give up. Things we want to control.
But there is no such thing as partial surrender. I mean just imagine if a soldier came in holding a white flag of surrender and said, "I surrender, but first I'm going to kill 5 more of your men, and I want to keep my weapon just in case I change my mind." That surrender wouldn't be taken seriously at all. And when we give some things over to God and hold others to ourselves, we are not taken seriously either. Because that isn't trust.
It's easy to give up the things that don't bother us. It's easy for me to trust God with my drive to work. I pray believing He'll protect me each morning. It's easy for me to trust Him with my job because I feel fairly secure in my position right now.
It's those uncertainties that are hard to hand over to Him, but those are just the things He wants. He wants us to trust Him fully because He has our very best interest at heart. And if we hand everything over to Him, He will give us peace that is beyond understanding.
So this morning, I'm praying a prayer of full surrender. Surrender to God's perfect will. It's a prayer I'm sure I'll pray many more times, but I know that a place of full surrender is just where I need to be.