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Friday, September 28, 2007

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?

I don't know about you, but this is a line that truly hits home with me. Once again, this is totally me at times. Why? Because though I want to surrender my life to God, there are certain areas I want to cling to. There are certain parts that it is harder for me to trust Him with.
My family is one of those things. Many of you prayed with me last year when my dad was facing surgery. The thing is that it was so much easier to trust God when it was me going through the surgery. Having to hand my dad over to him knowing there was nothing else I could do was hard.
But He has proven time and again that He knows so much better than I do. He has a perfect will for each person in my family just as He has a perfect will for me. I just have to surrender to His control.
Another area I struggle with is the financials. It is so hard for me to trust when things get a little tight. I find myself scrambling for solutions when I should be praying for God to provide and trusting that He will do JUST THAT.
I'm sure that each and everyone of us have things that we want to keep to ourselves. Things we don't want to give up. Things we want to control.
But there is no such thing as partial surrender. I mean just imagine if a soldier came in holding a white flag of surrender and said, "I surrender, but first I'm going to kill 5 more of your men, and I want to keep my weapon just in case I change my mind." That surrender wouldn't be taken seriously at all. And when we give some things over to God and hold others to ourselves, we are not taken seriously either. Because that isn't trust.
It's easy to give up the things that don't bother us. It's easy for me to trust God with my drive to work. I pray believing He'll protect me each morning. It's easy for me to trust Him with my job because I feel fairly secure in my position right now.
It's those uncertainties that are hard to hand over to Him, but those are just the things He wants. He wants us to trust Him fully because He has our very best interest at heart. And if we hand everything over to Him, He will give us peace that is beyond understanding.
So this morning, I'm praying a prayer of full surrender. Surrender to God's perfect will. It's a prayer I'm sure I'll pray many more times, but I know that a place of full surrender is just where I need to be.


At 11:54 AM, Blogger Amydeanne said...

ahhhh I can so relate to this, and thinking to where I was when I was at your spot in life... oh the best is yet to come Heather. Fully surrender even when you don't want to and do what God asks and you'll be blessed beyond belief!

At 2:27 PM, Blogger staceyhoff said...

I can so relate, it's my oldest child that I hesitate to hand over to God completely~ yet,where else is it better for him to be?? I can be so guilty of leaning on my own understanding, thinking at times with certain situations that there is too much sin here for even God to be able to penetrate... but He reeled me in, didn't He? And I was no better. Yes, there is always the possibility~ the Very Real possibility~ that God will not work in MY timing, or in MY way, but that's just where faith needs to come in. Am I going to have it, or not? Thanks for the reminder.
Love you tons,sister in Christ ;) Stacey <3

At 10:01 PM, Blogger Homeschool Housewife said...

Wow. I am so glad I came here tonight. You are on Kisses of Sunshines blog roll, and every so often I click around to see what others are reading. What a blessing!

This is exactly where I am. I am trusting God more than I ever have (at least intentionally) but I know there are some big areas I am still holding on, or worse yet trying to define the terms of surrender. "Ok God, I will trust you if you do this and this" Like God is going to perform for us on command. I know it is not like that. I know it, but I keep catching myself. Letting go is tough. I wish I could give you some sage advice on what to do, but I can't I don't know yet myself. So, at least know you are not alone in this weakness, and God loves us anyway.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy. Thanks for the post!

At 7:42 AM, Blogger Susanne said...

I so needed to read this today. I am faced with a few financial issues right now and after spending hours yesterday trying to figure it and solve it on my own, this was a real help to read. I need to surrender it to God! Thanks Heather, for the reminder.

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