Okay, I have a little confession to make. I'm not perfect. I mean I'm sure you already knew that. These little tidbits I share everyday aren't things I've perfected or anything. They are things I'm striving toward. Today, however, I'm gonna share one of my struggles with you. Why, well because it's the most prevalent thing in my life right now. Actually it's been a struggle for a long time.
I'm a planner. I had my entire life planned out when I was like 15. I knew where I wanted to go to college and what I wanted to be. I knew when I wanted to get married. I knew how many kids I wanted to have and when I wanted to have them. I even knew the exact colors I wanted for bridesmaid's gowns and the songs I wanted sung at my wedding. Yes, I had it all planned out.
You know what though? I didn't go to college. I'm not a nurse (thank God. I'm thankful there are nurses out there, but I've since learned that I could totally not do that ever)I've bypassed that age I wanted to get married at. I don't have that first kid I should've had by now. My plans have changed.
Actually God changed my plans. And of course being the imperfect person I am, I often go back and try to "fix" my life to be my way. I don't know why I do this. After all, God's ways are perfect, and I know that I don't need to be married right now. I know that He has things He wants me to do. Then I hear about someone getting married, and I'm suddenly on the "I'm single, so there must be something wrong with me" wagon.
So that's what I've been struggling with the past few days. I think it's because I have to be in 3 weddings this summer, and I also have a cousin getting married. I'm really happy for all my friends. (Though, 3 weddings in one summer, couldn't you guys have spaced it out a bit?)
It's just easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of it all and think, "This is what I need." But it's not what I need. See, God has been trying to teach me that all these years. He is ALL I need. He has a perfect will for my life, and if I'll just trust Him, He has a life beyond my imagination planned.
Whether you're struggling with singleness or infertility or loneliness, the heart of the matter is all the same. We're all searching for something more. The thing is that if we have God, we have it all. We have all we need. And He has a perfect plan for each of us. So here's the verse that I'm preaching at myself this week. I hope it helps you too.
Jeremiah 29:11, "11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
I serve a God who has a plan for my life. A plan that will bring more peace than anything I could ever plan for myself. My goal is to follow that plan and not to self-destruct by getting any "smart" ideas of my own!