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Monday, May 22, 2006

A Confession

Okay, I have a little confession to make. I'm not perfect. I mean I'm sure you already knew that. These little tidbits I share everyday aren't things I've perfected or anything. They are things I'm striving toward. Today, however, I'm gonna share one of my struggles with you. Why, well because it's the most prevalent thing in my life right now. Actually it's been a struggle for a long time.
I'm a planner. I had my entire life planned out when I was like 15. I knew where I wanted to go to college and what I wanted to be. I knew when I wanted to get married. I knew how many kids I wanted to have and when I wanted to have them. I even knew the exact colors I wanted for bridesmaid's gowns and the songs I wanted sung at my wedding. Yes, I had it all planned out.
You know what though? I didn't go to college. I'm not a nurse (thank God. I'm thankful there are nurses out there, but I've since learned that I could totally not do that ever)I've bypassed that age I wanted to get married at. I don't have that first kid I should've had by now. My plans have changed.
Actually God changed my plans. And of course being the imperfect person I am, I often go back and try to "fix" my life to be my way. I don't know why I do this. After all, God's ways are perfect, and I know that I don't need to be married right now. I know that He has things He wants me to do. Then I hear about someone getting married, and I'm suddenly on the "I'm single, so there must be something wrong with me" wagon.
So that's what I've been struggling with the past few days. I think it's because I have to be in 3 weddings this summer, and I also have a cousin getting married. I'm really happy for all my friends. (Though, 3 weddings in one summer, couldn't you guys have spaced it out a bit?)
It's just easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of it all and think, "This is what I need." But it's not what I need. See, God has been trying to teach me that all these years. He is ALL I need. He has a perfect will for my life, and if I'll just trust Him, He has a life beyond my imagination planned.
Whether you're struggling with singleness or infertility or loneliness, the heart of the matter is all the same. We're all searching for something more. The thing is that if we have God, we have it all. We have all we need. And He has a perfect plan for each of us. So here's the verse that I'm preaching at myself this week. I hope it helps you too.
Jeremiah 29:11, "11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
I serve a God who has a plan for my life. A plan that will bring more peace than anything I could ever plan for myself. My goal is to follow that plan and not to self-destruct by getting any "smart" ideas of my own!


At 6:43 AM, Blogger Mike Duran said...

My oldest son is 23. He's a full-time student and a very eligible bachelor. Friends and relatives are constantly trying to set him up with dates. He graciously accepts, but has an uncanny peace about God's timing. He'd rather wait than force the issue and get stuck in the wrong relationship. I'm very proud of him for his patience and perspective, although it's a struggle for him. As much as your station in life may be difficult Heather, God honors your patience and pliability. Hang in there. (And if you're interested in a good-looking, God-fearing young man, I can give you Christopher's cell number...)

At 6:50 AM, Blogger whispers of the morning said...

I was so like you in being a planner. Wish I would have been wise like you and realized that God has better things planned for me instead of what I planned.

By now I should be finished having children (haven't started yet), big house in the country, (little house but it is in the country) and spending my weekends doing the family thing (spend my weekends with the motocycle thing).

I'm slowly learning I'm happy right now right where I am. It is wonderful that you have such a special relationship with God that you know he has bigger and better plans for you. Don't lose that!

Really great post! Thanks for sharing!

At 8:35 AM, Blogger aggiejenn said...

I, too, had my whole life planned at age 15...right down to the colors of the bridesmaid dresses! I didn't get married when I thought I would, and I had my first child several years later than I had always imagined. My husband spent a year working away from home (definitely not in the plan) and now he's taken a job where he has to travel overseas. Our God is so much bigger than we can EVER imagine. We all have these struggles, Heather, and our God understands them. He just asks that we remain faithful to Him and trust that His timing is so much better than ours! I'm praying for you today. I know this is hard.

At 9:44 AM, Blogger GiBee said...

Heather -- you are such a beautiful girl ... inside and out ... and I pray for my son to mary a girl just like you when he's your age ... so, can you hang around for another, oh, I don't know ... 23 years?

Much love to you, girl!!!

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Gina Holmes said...

Heather, though I've got a decade plus on you, you're just the kind of girl I want to be when I grow up. You're truly a blessing.

At 6:47 PM, Blogger Faith said...

Heather, you are so precious. God does have plans for us. We have to hang in there and allow Him to work. You are in God's will... right where you are suppose to be!!

At 4:46 AM, Blogger Kelly Klepfer said...

Thanks for the reminder, Heather.

There's this cute quote that I will probably mess up - "Life is what happens when you make other plans." Okay, maybe it's not so cute, but true.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Sherri said...

When I was single longer than I had 'planned', God spoke these words to my heart, "You are single because I (God) love you so much and this is MY best for at this particular point in your life."

At 11:28 AM, Blogger Dave & Lisa said...

Wow, I could relate to your post! I've only been married 6 months, and I so clearly remember all those nights I wrote in my journal and asked God what He was doing and to help me be patient. I was ready to be married several years before it actually happened, but I'm thankful for the time He made me wait... although it was HARD! I guess now I'm finding that marriage is hard, too, which is kind of a shock. :-) I don't know why I assumed it would be easy. Thank you for your faith and for encouraging others along the way. God hears, and He loves you, and He has wonderful things up His sleeve!
God bless you, Lisa

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