Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?
I don't know about you, but this is a line that truly hits home with me. Once again, this is totally me at times. Why? Because though I want to surrender my life to God, there are certain areas I want to cling to. There are certain parts that it is harder for me to trust Him with.
My family is one of those things. Many of you prayed with me last year when my dad was facing surgery. The thing is that it was so much easier to trust God when it was me going through the surgery. Having to hand my dad over to him knowing there was nothing else I could do was hard.
But He has proven time and again that He knows so much better than I do. He has a perfect will for each person in my family just as He has a perfect will for me. I just have to surrender to His control.
Another area I struggle with is the financials. It is so hard for me to trust when things get a little tight. I find myself scrambling for solutions when I should be praying for God to provide and trusting that He will do JUST THAT.
I'm sure that each and everyone of us have things that we want to keep to ourselves. Things we don't want to give up. Things we want to control.
But there is no such thing as partial surrender. I mean just imagine if a soldier came in holding a white flag of surrender and said, "I surrender, but first I'm going to kill 5 more of your men, and I want to keep my weapon just in case I change my mind." That surrender wouldn't be taken seriously at all. And when we give some things over to God and hold others to ourselves, we are not taken seriously either. Because that isn't trust.
It's easy to give up the things that don't bother us. It's easy for me to trust God with my drive to work. I pray believing He'll protect me each morning. It's easy for me to trust Him with my job because I feel fairly secure in my position right now.
It's those uncertainties that are hard to hand over to Him, but those are just the things He wants. He wants us to trust Him fully because He has our very best interest at heart. And if we hand everything over to Him, He will give us peace that is beyond understanding.
So this morning, I'm praying a prayer of full surrender. Surrender to God's perfect will. It's a prayer I'm sure I'll pray many more times, but I know that a place of full surrender is just where I need to be.